Ephesians 4 - An Attitude Check

So have you ever thought about a situation and realized that you need an attitude check? Boy, have I ever, and I am feeling it right now. Over the weekend I got one of those, I would like to talk face-to-face. Not the, hey, we need to catch up, but the heavy, personal subjects that we don't see eye-to-eye on. This would probably not be so bad if it didn't feel like we had been around the ring with these same topics before...but I guess the good news is that I recognized my need for an attitude check. 

Step one, recognize the the bad attitudes and their need to change.

So, recognize, that I have a bad attitude, one which has put up walls and makes me not want to have a face-to-face conversation. What are the problems...well, in the end, I fear that I will be hurt and two, because I am anticipating that, am concerned that I won't be able to hear the other person without hearing it through my lens of previous hurt and who knows what I will say through that same hurt. So to scripture I went, and found myself in Ephesians 4.

As I read this chapter, several places stood out to me. The first was those first 3 verses.

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, ² with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, ³ endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 

First, Paul reminds that at the time of this writing, he is a prisoner. The voice in my head is saying, "You think you got it bad, remember where Paul was...and he kept a good attitude." Paul reminds me to walk in love, patience and work toward a peaceful, spiritual unity. I surely can't do that and hold past hurts and disagreements in my mind. I need to release them. I need to be able to speak in love and hear in love, bitterness and resentment can have no place in this conversation.

Of course, inside, I am whining a little bit, "But, I don't want to. I have been hurt and I am tired of making myself vulnerable and being hurt again." Now if this was an abusive situation, I might give into that and say that God's best for me is not to allow myself to be abused, but this is in no way that kind of situation. It just is hard for a non-confrontational person to walk into discussions that are a source of conflict and uncomfortableness.

And then I read verses 31 and 32, a direct answer to my concern about what I might say.

³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Paul is pretty straightforward about saying that all those negative emotions and instincts need to be put away from you. They just can't be around if this conversation is to be one of love and peace and gentleness. And furthermore...all those past things I want to hold against that person...well verse 32 has got that covered. Drat, that forgiveness thing.

So I can't hold on to the past wrongs, I can't speak through anger and hurt and I need to have this conversation in love and patience. And now you see where the attitude adjustment is necessary.

Next step, give all the thoughts, hurts, fears, anxieties over to God.

This is the hard part for me, but the only way I know how to do this is to pray. To pray hard and to pray long!!! Possibly in my favor is that I live over two hours away from this person and my schedule is pretty tight for awhile, so I can't actually do a face-to-face right away. So there will be a lot of prayer for this. And I don'[t mean, procrastinate until it gets closer, I mean start today and pray, pray, pray! (and maybe you will pray for me too).

A change of attitude does not usually happen over night, but holding on to a bad attitude hurts us more than anyone else. Our joy is stolen and our focus is on negative things.

And while you are working on step two, bring in step three, replace the bad attitude with a positive one. 

As I pray, I also need to fill my head with reminders and scriptures that remind me to focus on what is pure and good, to know that I am loved, to remember to seek peace and healing for all those involved. Fill your head with so much good attitude that there is no room for a bad attitude. So while I am praying, I will be writing myself little scripture notes and reminders for a positive attitude. (feel free to share your positive attitude scriptures and reminders with me).

Do you need an attitude check?

Is so, remember:

• Indentify and acknowledge the bad attitude.
• Give it all up to God.
• Gird yourself with a positive attitude and thoughts.