Luke 15:20b,28 - Grace

As I mentioned several posts ago, my small group is studying Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32 using a book and study called Prodigal God. The title of the study is one of the things that really captures me. Traditionally, we think of the younger son as the prodigal, but this study directs you to think of the Father as the prodigal. Crazy...until you examine a definition of prodigal:

1. recklessly extravagant
2. having spent everything

 ...so maybe you are still thinking that fits the son and not the father, but I want you to consider these two verses.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." (20b)

 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him." (28)

What the Father is recklessly extravagant about is love. He abandons all dignity and lifts his garment to run to and embrace the younger son who has returned and he again abandons dignity to leave the celebration to beg the older son to come in and celebrate too. This is grace! Neither son deserved this reckless love, but the father gives it to him.

Grace is a tricky concept for us to grasp. We want to insist on making restitution, as the younger son wanted to or we stand proud as the older son, holding onto our righteousness, and not receiving the gift, as the older son does. We struggle with receiving something that we don't feel we deserve...and yet we want it...but we can't accept it. We feel we need to do something to earn it. 


The idea of grace has become the topic of many songs and messages in an effort for us to understand and grasp the reality of grace. God has been giving grace for a long time though and as this video from the Skit Guys points out, even the disciples struggle with grace. The bible tells so many stories that involve grace and we see so many receive this and yet we continue to struggle with it in our own lives.

Click for Video

In fact, the struggle to accept grace impacts the way we approach God. In my small group this week, as we watched the Prodigal God video in its entirety again, Tim Keller made a statement that caught my attention. He expresses the idea that Jesus uses this story to tell us that we need to reexamine everything we ever understood about how to approach God. This week I latched onto that and started looking at how I approach God...

Think about that for a moment. How do you approach God? Are you heavy with the mistakes you have made? Are you confident that you have been good and can stand up tall with God? Are you ready to receive an absolutely free gift, knowing that you can not EVER balance the scale between you and God? Can you just BE with God?

Our understanding of grace has a big impact on how we approach God. Until we can fully wrap our head around grace, we will come to God with baggage. The good news is, that God is ready and willing to take that baggage from us. Like with the sons in the Luke, God is ready to willingly, extravagantly, and recklessly love us until we understand and embrace grace.

This week, I am reexamining my understandings of grace and how I approach God. Will you join me?

Romans 5:3-5 - Disappointment

Last week, my fiancé asked me if I had any quotes or poems about disappointment...and it could even be scripture; he was preparing a discussion topic for the small group he facilitates.

Several days later, when I remembered his request (my delay was probably a disappointment to him, ironically), I was immediately drawn to a scripture and a quote from a popular children's book.

The scripture was Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

 This is a scripture that I often turn to when life feels difficult. It reminds me that there is purpose in everything that I experience. Each experience shapes and changes me and is a part of who I am today. I like the man that I am and when I really look at it, most of the traits that I admire about myself were forged in challenges and tough times, not in the seasons of smooth sailing. I have often found myself thanking God for difficulties that I have experienced because without them, I would not have become a person of determination, assertiveness, empathy, and many other positive traits. And I am further grateful that I can recognize this truth and the goodness of personal growth. Of course, when I am in the middle of struggles, that is not always so easy to see. I often need some time and distance to get perspective.

Now later this week, a coworker of mine made a comment that I was very patient and I didn't let things upset me or become frustrated. That isn't always the case, but I do strive for that. But as she was saying this, I was brought back to this scripture because it is from times of trials and suffering that those traits have been formed. It is those seasons that have given me the wisdom to step back from circumstances and evaluate my reactions to events to see what will be fruitful and what will only make the situation worse for myself. Stopping to assess and make a more thoughtful response to events is something I have trained myself to do through some difficult situations.

But let's be honest, it just doesn't always work out. For me, this is especially true when I am tired. It seems like little things go badly and my response becomes very emotional. I have to fight grumpiness and the desire to lash out. Sometimes I can win the battle, but I also lose it as well. In those times, I feel like the other quote I gave my fiancé,  from Judith Viorst's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day:

 I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

 If you have ready the book, you know that everything seems to go wrong for Alexander. None of these things are earth-shattering but as they pile up, Alexander's day just gets worse and worse...until finally, as he is going to bed, his mom reminds him that some days are like that...even in Australia.

What I love about this story is that it acknowledges that sometimes our day is bad. It has one thing after another go bad, the day is terrible, and we have disappointments; that this is a reality of life...even in Australia. It gives me permission to have a bad day, to occasionally let my disappointment show and be a little grumpy. It also reminds me that just like Alexander's bad day, my bad day also comes to an end and the next day is a brand new day, filled with potential.

I think the key is to take that disappointment and put it in perspective. Look at it for the character trait grown/formed, or the lesson to be learned. And then, to give thanks for that trait or lesson, for it just develops us closer to the beautiful and amazing person we are becoming.

Do you struggle with disappointments and how to deal with them? Maybe next time you are in the middle of that, you can stop, and see the potential for growth, and give thanks for the opportunity to become more than you were.

Philippians 4:6-9 - Getting the Stress Out of Inner Peace

Today I was talking to a coworker of mine. She was sharing about her weekend which included sharing the stress she was feeling in a personal relationship. Listening to her, it became clear that she was not feeling peace at all. In that relationship, she is ignoring what she needs in order to please the other person, and then becoming very upset when her needs aren't being met. She is making it her job to care for the other person and expecting the other person to take care of caring for her. Throw this on top of work stress she is feeling and she is not at peace. Instead of having a balance of times of work and refreshment, she moves from one environment that causes her stress to another.

As I was listening and asking God for wisdom, I was reminded that looking to another person to be responsible for our peace is never going to work. As we talked, I tried to help her identify what her needs were and help her find ways to take responsibility for those needs. In her case, she felt a desire to go out and do things sometimes, not just hang around home. She wanted this person to take her out and do things but this person was content to be very low-key, close to home and preferred to not make plans. This results in no plans and no peace for her.

Have you ever been in need of inner peace? If your answer is no, well...I could would love to hear your story and strategies.

Inner peace is something most of us strive for; although what causes us to feel peace may be vastly different. Some feel inner piece from knowing they are unconditionally loved, some from having financial security, some find it in trust that they will be taken care of and some in being in a safe environment. Whatever it is that causes you to be in a state of inner peace, it is important to recognize that if we base our feeling of inner peace on another person, or even ourselves, it will fail. When it all comes down to it, we screw-up. Some of us less than others, but we screw-up. We make bad decisions, or fail to do something, or do it in a way that brings hurt and harm. As much as we want to be harbingers of peace, we are imperfect.

The good news is that inner peace can be found in God. In trust, in faith, in accepting the gifts of love and salvation that God offers.

I want to share a passage from Philippians four that has always been near and dear to me:

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Two key ideas I find in this passage is the idea of letting go and the idea of holding on.

In the first part, this passage asks us to let go of anxiety. This does not necessarily mean we should let go of those things, but we should release the anxiety. For instance if your are feeling stress from a work situation, release the anxiety. Understand that some things you don't have control over and release those things. For the things you can control, allow yourself to set up and pursue ideals that will improve the situation. This doesn't have to mean leaving the job, just recognizing what you have control over and work to change that and release the stress of those things you can't control
.

This is not an easy thing to accomplish, but by taking little steps, over time, you will find that the situation changes and improves and peace will start to infiltrate that environment.

The second part asks us to hold on to things; things that are good, true, excellent, admirable. That involves looking at the situation and recognizing what is good and worthy. Going back to a work stress, you might start to think about those things involved that are good. Are there co-workers that you connect positively with and/or bring strengths to the work you are involved with. What things about the environment make you comfortable? Have you accomplished some things that you are proud of? Hold onto and focus on those things.

Again, this can be a challenge, particularly if the situation has anxiety attached to it.

Think of that thing which gives you great stress, be open to different and better opportunities if they present themselves, thus giving yourself permission to let go of your current situation if it produces a lot of anxiety. Also give up the idea that the current situation has to stay the same. Some things you will be unable to change, but other things you can. How can you make the environment better? What positive impacts can you have?  This can help you release the anxiety because you are reminding yourself it doesn't have to be permanent. Then consider the positive things about your situation. What ways are you growing? What are the good things about the environment? What is good about the people around you? Hold onto these things! Celebrate them! As you focus on the positive, things will change, if nothing else, your outlook and attitude will change and you will find peace.

You can not expect others to take care of ensuring your peace. Follow the advice from Philippians and let go...and hold on...with God's help, you will find peace.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26 - We Need Each Other

Last week I was arranging some flowers. It was a large bunch so I grabbed more than one vase, one large and one small. My thought was to put a single flower in the small vase and the rest in the other.I grabbed out a especially pretty dark purple mum from the bunch and put it in the small vase. As I stood there and considered it, I started to notice some imperfections and I realized that it wasn't quite so pretty by itself. As I grabbed a stem of greenery to add to the small vase to create some architectural interest.  I thought, we are like that flower, beautiful, yet alone, are flaws are more noticeable.

When a person stands by him or herself, in independence, it becomes easier to see the imperfections. Any flaw or mistake is easily noticed. We can also see their unique beauty as well. I would bet we can each think of a person who we place in a category by him or herself. We know all the amazing and beautiful things about that person and if we have a strong connection to that person, we notice there presence whenever that person is in our environment...but we are also aware of that person's flaws.

Now let's place that person in community. Suddenly that person's flaws seem to diminish because where one is weak, another is strong. Where one is foolish, another is wise. The strength and beauty of each person tends to come forward, while the weaknesses and flaws fade into the community.

The Bible talks about community in 1 Corinthians 12. Let's just look at a few verses:

²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

 God understood that in community, we would be able to be strong and accomplish much. One of my favorite phrases in these verses is, "but that its parts should have equal concern for each other." God is reminding us that we will have need of others caring for us, just as we need to be concerned for others.

I was also reminded of this last Sunday in church when a reading by George Odell was referenced, titled We Need One Another:

We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted… when we are in trouble and afraid… when we despair, in temptation, and need to be recalled to our best selves again.
We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose, and cannot do it alone… in the hour of our successes, when we look for someone to share our triumphs [and] in the hour of our defeat when with encouragement we might endure and stand again.
We need one another when we come to die, and would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey.  All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us.

This reading also points out how strongly we need to be in community. The irony is, that we try to be independent. With everything out there showing us and speaking truth to us about our need for community, we are determined to prove that we are individually strong and we can handle it on our own. When we need help, we are embarrassed and ashamed to ask for it. We have no trouble asking for help or prayers for another person, but to look into someone eye's and ask them to help us...to pray for our deep need...that is one of the hardest things for us to do.

We are eager to help others, to fill their need and often encourage others to call on us for help, but we struggle to seek it for ourselves. It makes us vulnerable to rely on another person and to ask for help, particularly if we might not have help to offer them in return. The idea of being in debt scares us...and yet we are in debt to our creator, for our very life. We need God, we need people, and others need us.

Do you have a need? One that you are reluctant to ask others for help with? It can be scary, just like jumping off a stage into a crowd of people. But the beautiful thing about community is that they catch and carry you. Take a risk, ask for help and feel your community carry you.

*Here is a bonus, as I was looking for the George Odell reading, I came across this song by Sanctus Real called We Need Each Other.


Enjoy!