Obediah 11-15 - Taking the Time to Understand

Recently, I received a wedding invitation from one of the couples in my small group and the first thing I noticed was that the grooms first name was not what I thought it was. I have always known him as Chase but I learned from the invitation that his name was Ming. The next morning when we were running I asked him about it and he shared that when he was finishing college and looking for internships, he was getting no response from his resume. A friend suggested that he use an American name on his resume...and suddenly the responses started coming in (some from the same places that had rejected his resume previously). I was shocked to hear this. Chase sounds and acts very Americanized and although it is clear he is of Asian descent, he is as American as I am and is a US citizen. I apologized that he had to experience this and expressed my disappointment that employers would get hung up on the name and not get past it on the resume. As I was mulling this over in my mind, he started to tell me a story...

He told me that he had been running/walking at the same beach that we run at the week before with his friend Brian and he also had his and his future bride's 10 month old son in his stroller. As they were going along the beach a woman in a passing car started yelling at them...and then pulled over and flipped them the bird. [I had to chuckle because I could see where it was going...two guys and a stroller...and the irony was that these guys were straight and it was only my friend's baby.] And Chase asked, if this kind of stuff ever happen to Thomas and I. I told him that of course it did. In spite of the fact that we live in Massachusetts near Boston, one of most accepting places in the United States Occasionally we have people yell and shout obscenities at us when we are walking down the street holding hands. I admitted that it is one of the reasons I am not in favor of a public place for our wedding; I would not want the beauty of that day and that commitment marred by someone who is unable to control their opinions. I told him we also have people stop and tell us how great and cute we are. He went on to express that he was scared when he and his friend Brian had experienced this woman. The woman was pretty mad and he and his friend are shorter than average; he was concerned about violence...

The rest of our run I continued to think about these conversations and how God would call us to act. As I thought about it, I was reminded that Jesus spent time with all kinds of people. We read about him in conversation with pharisees (Luke 7:36-50), we see him talking to women (John 4:1-38) and tax collectors (Luke 19:1-10). Jesus taught both in the countryside (Matthew 4:23) and the cities (Mark 11:27). Jesus knew many people, rich, poor, revered, and cast out and he spent time with them all. He took the time to know people. We too are called to know and understand people, being careful how we judge and treat them.

One of the places that I am reminded of this is in Obediah:

11 On the day you stood aloof while strangers carried off his wealth and foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem, you were like one of them. 12 You should not look down on your brother in the day of his misfortune, nor rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their destruction, nor boast so much in the day of their trouble. 13 You should not march through the gates of my people in the day of their disaster, nor look down on them in their calamity in the day of their disaster, nor seize their wealth in the day of their disaster. 14 You should not wait at the crossroads to cut down their fugitives, nor hand over their survivors in the day of their trouble. 15 "The day of the LORD is near for all nations. As you have done, it will be done to you; your deeds will return upon your own head. 

 In this case, the prophet is reminding the people not take advantage of others' misfortune or look down on them, because circumstances can change and you might find yourself in that place. Obadiah was reminding the people to have compassion and treat others with dignity and respect, for all people will face God and have their actions examined. 

As I think about this in relation to my friend having to change his name in order to get responses to his resume, I think how foolish it is for someone to make a judgement based on a name. From a name, you can not possibly know if someone is qualified for the position. By ignoring that resume, the company could be missing out on an employee that would bring that company to new heights, all because they couldn't read past the name. What a shame. Possibly it was unconscious, possibly because they thought this person would be stealing a job from a US citizen, or possibly they thought there would be a language barrier...but these things would not have been true. 

When I looked at the experience my friend has with the woman, I can't help but think who was hurt by her assumptions...assumptions that were wrong. She was, because it caused her to feel great anger and I am sure that stuck with her for a good portion of the day. My friend experienced fear, so he was hurt, and I imagine if others witnessed it, it was uncomfortable and raised emotions in them as well. Ultimately, everyone was negatively affected...all for a wrong assumption. But even if she had been correct, what positive difference did she make? None. No one walked away feeling good and no one was moved to change their opinion or decisions to her beliefs.

As people trying to make good and right choices, as people who claim to know and want to share God with others, we must engage with those around us. We need to take the time to understand who they are and we need to focus our energy on loving. Loving does not mean agreeing and supporting everything, but loving works for the good of all people and leaves a path of understanding and respect.