Matthew 7 - There's a lot Underneath the Surface that We Don't Know About

Last Saturday, a friend shared a story with me about her daughter's first dentist appointment. When the dentist office said they were going to take x-rays, she was a little worried about how that was going to work, but it worked out fine and she was explaining the awe of seeing adult teeth sitting underneath her daughter's baby teeth and all I could think was, there is a lot under the surface that we can't see.

I have been running that idea through my head this week as I think about people and things I see. I was drawn to a couple of ideas in Matthew 7. The first is the idea of not judging others which Jesus talks about in verses 1-5 of the chapter:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. ³ And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? ⁴ Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? ⁵ Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

As I thought about this, I was reminded of those teeth, sitting under the surface, that we can't see, and I think about people I know, with many things sitting under the surface too that I don't know about. Are they good? Are they bad? Is it mine to determine? 

I think the truth is that it is complicated. These verses remind me that I, too, can be judged and I know that I am not perfect. There are plenty of labels that I wear, that people could hear or learn and paint their own picture of who I am. They could also witness one soundbite  and determine my character. Would they be accurate? They could be, but probably not. There is a lot going on under my surface, in my mind and my heart. 

Let's look at two labels I wear, Christian and gay. Part of me doesn't know where to start with what ideas and images people might have of me given these two labels alone. These labels evoke many ideas and emotion in our current society, but here a few negative ideas or thoughts I have heard and run across:

• You can't be Christian and gay
• Gay...flouncing fairy
• Christian...judgmental holy roller

The interesting thing about these is that they just don't fit. First of all being gay is your sexual identity and being Christian is your set of beliefs. They can easily exist in the same person. Christian beliefs guide my actions as a man everyday. And I am pretty sure that people who know me would not say I am a flouncing fairy or a judgmental holy roller. 

Instead, most people would say that I am pretty normal, although possibly quirky, with geeky tendencies. Also, people have remarked on how open to hearing and understanding others I am. I don't believe we have to agree to love and care for each other, but I do believe in respect and understanding. And there is a lot under the surface that you don't know about. God has me on a journey and even I don't know where it ends up or all the ways I will be shaped along the journey.

Matthew 7:1,2 is often associated with the idea of walking a mile in another person's shoes. I agree with that. I don't think you can truly understand the place a person is coming from without dialogue with them and you can't appreciate where their ideas come from without taking time. If a person is a part of your life, it is important to understand who that person is. Labels, which we use as a quick way to understand people are not really effective because there is a lot going on under the surface that we don't know about. 

But where does that leave us? I think the answer to that is to see what fruit the person bears.

¹⁷ Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

Take the time to walk a mile in a person's shoes and observe the fruit of their life; following both of these ideas will help you evaluate a person and your response to them. 

It makes sense to us to do this for the people who are family, friends, co-workers...people who are engaged in our lives, but that is not where it ends. In this season, where we in the US are preparing to elect a president and soundbites and labels abound. Will you determine a person's worth based on soundbites and labels or will you walk a mile in their shoes and examine the fruit of their life?

There is a lot under the surface that we don't know about.
 

1 John 4:18 - 4 Stories of Courage

A bunch of things that have been going on in my world have caused me to think a lot about courage. I have realized that courage wears many faces and sometimes doesn't feel like courage to the person who is doing it.

I have four stories I want to share that deal with courage. They all share a common thread but all the people don't share the same views, but each one is motivated by love and probably some of the people involved do not see what they are doing as courage, but I have come to see each one as courage, and each one drew me back to 1 John 4:18:

 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

The first is my story, about a week ago, my boyfriend and I were walking to meet some friends, holding hands (a normal thing for us) and a guy stopped us to ask about how long we have been together and if we were married...by this point, his husband had walked back to join him. They were going out to celebrate their third anniversary but the guy explained he had to stop us to comment on us holding hands, wishing that they had the courage to do that. What was a normal, every day activity for us, wasa sign of courage to them.

The second story is about a missionary from South America who happened upon my boyfriend and I about 10 PM one evening, walking down the street, holding hands. She greeted us in her broken English and began to politely, kindly, and with love tell us about Jesus. She explained that love between two men was wrong and urged us to seek Jesus. She was gentle, she was kind, and she spent perhaps 15 minutes talking to us, urging us to seek Jesus and at the end of conversation, parted with, God bless you. Now, I admit, I struggled with this one because when I said that I knew Jesus, she insisted I did not, but I was reminded to see her love in what she said and the time she spent by my boyfriend, and he was right. It was late at night, she was all alone, and there were not many people around, but she spoke in love, not fear. She displayed courage.

The next story is about a mother. Her son is gay and she loves him dearly. All her life she was told that being gay was wrong, but now she is forced to confront feelings and understandings within herself. She chooses to examine those feelings and wrestle with them to understand, all the while maintaining the friendship she has with her son. In addition to wrestling with the feelings within herself. she finds herself advocating for understanding from her husband, not for their son, for he too loves their son, but for her son's boyfriend to be welcome in their home for holidays. Her courage in facing what she has been taught all her life and creating uncomfortableness in her home, is motivated by love. While it can be scary, she walks a path of love.

The last story is about a pastor. She has a church that is only a couple of years old. She has built the congregation from the beginning, moving from a house church to a church with a permanent location. She has a gay man who has offered to start a small group in the church. In conversations with the pastor that mentors her and the small group coordinator of the church she started from, she gets a mixed reaction to having a gay man in a leadership role. She knows that she might face conflict, questions, and uncomfortableness, but she weighs all the factors to look at the person as a Christian man with leadership skills and evaluates his walk and what he has to offer over the label of gay that society places on him. She has courage to stand on the side of love and risk the criticism of Christians.

Each of these people is operating in love, love for another person or love for people in general. It is unclear whether they think of what they are doing as showing courage, but it has become clear to me that each one is walking in courage and not in fear.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

Do you have a story of courage? I would love to hear about it.

John 14:6 - Black and White or Shades of Grey

So the last couple of days I have been thinking a lot about John 14:6:

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

Often I hear people quote this as a verse that  speaks to Christianity being the only way to heaven. And here is where I shock, possibly disappoint, or offend some of my Christian friends and audience...but I am just not sure about that. I have been considering this verse as a part of my search to better understand and possibly come to a more definitive answer on this. I want to share some of my journey on this.

I started by considering the language of the verse, particularly the word father. I had a suspicion that the word Jesus used for father was not the same as what was used in the Old Testament. In looking at a concordance to better understand this, I discovered that Father is only used 10 times in the Old Testament as a reference to God and Jesus introduces a term for Father that includes intimacy. The references in the Old Testament are along the lines of Father in the creative or in the protector sense. So this had me rolling around in my mind the following question: Is this verse saying that Jesus is the way to intimacy with God? And is this different than being able to go to heaven?

I then noticed something interesting about this verse, the phrase, Jesus told him. Looking at other versions, it says Jesus answered. I decided I needed to better understand what the question was and who asked the question. I believe that context is crucial to understanding the message of the Bible, and yet it can be often ignored. So I went back to look at the verses proceeding this one. In it Jesus is talking about preparing a place for the disciples where he is going (Jesus has just told them he would be betrayed and would be leaving them) and in verse 5 Thomas, one of the disciples asks a question:

Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

So there is the answer to my questions. The person asking the question is Thomas and the question is how can we (the followers of Jesus or the disciples) know the way? Is this an answer then that applies to all people or is is an answer that applies to Thomas and the other disciples?

As I considered that, I can't help notice the phrase, no one. Now, of course this can be understood as no one period, or not one of the listeners (those the answer was given to), but I decided that it was time to be back to the concordance. Interestingly, I see reference to no one and not one, but I couldn't find an indication as to whether it was global or specific from a straight language perspective, commentaries vary in interpretation.

So what I find myself left with, and what I leave you with is a question of how to see this verse in the light of its context. I suspect that people will choose to see it in the way that supports their current belief, but maybe, this question will lead you to further study and to look at other verses to gain more understanding.


I find this to be a grey area. For me, I know that I can only understand God in very limited way, as human understanding is limited. I am reminded of the story of the elephant and the blind men. Each of these blind men experience a different part of the elephant and describe it through the lens of their experience. I often wonder if our experience and talk of God is the same, each one of us describing God as we experience God and through the lens of our experience and environment.

I believe in God and that Jesus is God and that He can and was a sacrifice that cleanses me from sin if I accept that gift. I believe that God wants us to be in relationship[ with God, and I live my life within that relationship. Can I stand here and say that what you describe as God is wrong and what I describe is right? No, I cannot. Even if I was in a conversation of only Christians, I would find we have different understandings, many areas are grey. I can not point to any definitive evidence that I am 100% right and anyone else is 100% wrong. All I can do is share my journey and invite others to experience the relationship with God that I experience (although theirs will be different because it is theirs).

Walk with me, and I will share my story. Share with me, and I will listen, and hopefully we will both come to greater understanding and love.