Psalm 62 - The Unshakable Cornerstone

Do you have an event in your life that you stand on and gives you perfect certainty about something. Possibly it is a moment in time that you stand on and makes you sure of some one's love for you. Possibly it is an moment in time that made your career path a certainty. Do you have an event in your spiritual life that is the cornerstone of your faith? Maybe it is something that leads you to know something as truth or maybe it is something that leads you to know something is not truth. (Take a few minutes and reflect on that).

As I read through Psalm 62, I couldn't help but notice a section that repeats itself:

¹ Truly my soul finds rest in God;
    my salvation comes from him.
² Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. 

 ⁵ Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
⁶ Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Right from the beginning, the author makes a statement, and then a few verses later affirms it, with the one difference of saying, "my salvation comes from him" in verse 1 and, "my hope comes from him" in verse 5. 

As I read these verses, it is clear that  God is the writer's fortress and the  writer holds a truth that can not be shaken; that God is the writer's rock and salvation. I wish I knew the story behind the writer coming to that truth and place.

It is a beautiful thing to know something absolutely and completely. For me, it helps to have that experience that I hold in my mind that is the cornerstone of that knowledge. For me, my faith cornerstone  is an experience that happened when I was 13. The circumstances are a story of their own, but I was in the house alone and I heard a distinct and audible voice. God said to me, "I love you and this is not what I want for you." This had a profound impact on me. First and foremost, it was the beginning of developing a faith that was my own, not the faith of my parents or of the church that I attended. Secondly, I knew that God existed, was active, and desired relationship with me. That was profound for me and changed everything. Now, I admit that I can not provide you with scientific evidence of my experience or of the existence of God, and I can't even begin to fully understand or attempt to describe all that God is, but I know that God loves me, God exists, and God wants relationship with me. I have other beliefs about God, but I also know they are based on experiences of mine as seen through the lens of my understanding and environment. I do not classify them as a part of my cornerstone which can not be shaken.

Today, I invite you to consider what is the cornerstone of your faith and where it comes from. Is it unshakable and it is something you own? Can you turn to it when doubts and confusion present themselves to you?

I would love to hear your story, if you care to share it and maybe in the sharing of our stories we will both be changed.

 

John 14:6 - Black and White or Shades of Grey

So the last couple of days I have been thinking a lot about John 14:6:

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

Often I hear people quote this as a verse that  speaks to Christianity being the only way to heaven. And here is where I shock, possibly disappoint, or offend some of my Christian friends and audience...but I am just not sure about that. I have been considering this verse as a part of my search to better understand and possibly come to a more definitive answer on this. I want to share some of my journey on this.

I started by considering the language of the verse, particularly the word father. I had a suspicion that the word Jesus used for father was not the same as what was used in the Old Testament. In looking at a concordance to better understand this, I discovered that Father is only used 10 times in the Old Testament as a reference to God and Jesus introduces a term for Father that includes intimacy. The references in the Old Testament are along the lines of Father in the creative or in the protector sense. So this had me rolling around in my mind the following question: Is this verse saying that Jesus is the way to intimacy with God? And is this different than being able to go to heaven?

I then noticed something interesting about this verse, the phrase, Jesus told him. Looking at other versions, it says Jesus answered. I decided I needed to better understand what the question was and who asked the question. I believe that context is crucial to understanding the message of the Bible, and yet it can be often ignored. So I went back to look at the verses proceeding this one. In it Jesus is talking about preparing a place for the disciples where he is going (Jesus has just told them he would be betrayed and would be leaving them) and in verse 5 Thomas, one of the disciples asks a question:

Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

So there is the answer to my questions. The person asking the question is Thomas and the question is how can we (the followers of Jesus or the disciples) know the way? Is this an answer then that applies to all people or is is an answer that applies to Thomas and the other disciples?

As I considered that, I can't help notice the phrase, no one. Now, of course this can be understood as no one period, or not one of the listeners (those the answer was given to), but I decided that it was time to be back to the concordance. Interestingly, I see reference to no one and not one, but I couldn't find an indication as to whether it was global or specific from a straight language perspective, commentaries vary in interpretation.

So what I find myself left with, and what I leave you with is a question of how to see this verse in the light of its context. I suspect that people will choose to see it in the way that supports their current belief, but maybe, this question will lead you to further study and to look at other verses to gain more understanding.


I find this to be a grey area. For me, I know that I can only understand God in very limited way, as human understanding is limited. I am reminded of the story of the elephant and the blind men. Each of these blind men experience a different part of the elephant and describe it through the lens of their experience. I often wonder if our experience and talk of God is the same, each one of us describing God as we experience God and through the lens of our experience and environment.

I believe in God and that Jesus is God and that He can and was a sacrifice that cleanses me from sin if I accept that gift. I believe that God wants us to be in relationship[ with God, and I live my life within that relationship. Can I stand here and say that what you describe as God is wrong and what I describe is right? No, I cannot. Even if I was in a conversation of only Christians, I would find we have different understandings, many areas are grey. I can not point to any definitive evidence that I am 100% right and anyone else is 100% wrong. All I can do is share my journey and invite others to experience the relationship with God that I experience (although theirs will be different because it is theirs).

Walk with me, and I will share my story. Share with me, and I will listen, and hopefully we will both come to greater understanding and love.

Bridge Building

One of the things that has been on my mind this week is the Matthew 28:19 commission of making disciples. I hear and read about  this command, and then I read about things like walking up to people on the street and asking them, "If you were to die tonight, do you know where you would go?" and all I can do is cringe. Have you ever been a part of this kind of evangelism? I have. Not that it was ever something I wanted to do, but I was part of a group that was going out and doing this. 

Recently, I have been thinking about that commission a lot. The more I think about it, the more I feel like some people have understood it wrong. They see it as a command to go to other people and tell them about Jesus. Now you may be saying, that sounds right to me, but please wait, while I talk a little more about this, because I believe that this commission was given for us to do, "Jesus style". I think it is important for us to understand this commission, using Jesus as the ultimate example.

So let's look at what Jesus did. Jesus traveled to different places to teach. While he taught in the synagogue or homes when invited, most often Jesus taught places that were informal, often in the countryside (Matthew 5:1, Matthew 14:13,14). When Jesus taught, he went to a place and taught. He went to a place, but the people came to him. I think that is a key point. Jesus made himself available to people. he didn't accost them on the street and force anything on them. He went to a place and then let people come to him if they wanted to hear him teach. Now some of those people heard his message and didn't understand at all, some heard and thought they understood and some heard and stayed to ask more questions. Now, you may point out some exceptions, but I think it is important for us to examine the whole of Jesus' ministry.

Ultimately, I think it is profound to note how Jesus operated. He went to a place and healed and taught. Those who wanted to see or hear him, came to Jesus (even in times when he would have rather have a time of rest). Many came, many heard, some understood.

Partway through his time of ministry, Jesus sent out his followers to minister (Matthew 10:1-15). In verse 14, He gives them this instruction, "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet." Jesus tells them, not to force themselves on anyway. If they aren't interested, leave and move on.

I think Jesus' model is important to remember when sharing teachings and understandings, not just in sharing the religious teachings, but in sharing all views. Imagine how you respond when some one comes at you with an opinion or idea and forcefully explains it to you until you either walk away or agree with them. Maybe it was a situation where you asked for their thoughts and it just went beyond sharing for understanding, or maybe their thoughts were unsolicited. How did you respond internally to this? If you are like me, it left a sour taste in your mouth, and either the desire to avoid this person, or to start hearing their ideas with a chip on your shoulder. (Well, maybe not the first time, but likely the more it happened the more distasteful it became.) 

I beleive that we are called to be bridge builders. We are called to share what we understand, but share it in the way that Jesus did. Let the people come to us. I don't think this is always easy to judge...but I think it is important to consider how you are sharing your message. Are you doing it in a way that offends people who have not chosen to to come hear you (the offensive sign you are carrying in public that a person did not come to see)? Or have you found a place to share your message where people can come to you if they want to hear it and not have to hear it if they have not chosen to come? 

If we consider how we are choosing to share our message and we work to share our message in love, we can be bridge builders. I choose to strive to be a bridge builder. Do you?

Psalm 61 - Sacred Vows

This psalm splits into two parts, the first part where David is crying out to God for help and the second section where David speaks words of faith and praise while asking for blessing. It is verse 5, the first verse in the second section that caught my thoughts today.

For you have heard my vows, O God. You have given me an inheritance reserved for those who fear your name.

 What I notice first off is that David has made vows to God. Consider what it means that David has made vows to God. David has made a solemn promise to God. From reading other psalms and writings we can guess that this involves serving God, telling others about God, being committed to living a life that he believes God has laid out for him. This is not done lightly or something that David takes seriously. we can see from other writings that David is committed to obedience to God and in that obedience refuses to harm the anointed king Saul, in spite of Saul's attempts to kill him. He doesn't make this vow because God makes vows to him in return. He makes vows because David finds God worthy of his devotion, and worthy of making vows to. David values God.

What do you value to that level? To what or whom, would you make sacred vows and how far would you take them? I think Davids example calls us to consider these questions.

For some of us, vows with God make sense. When I was 13, God touched my life in a powerful way and saved me. While at the time, I believed that God saved me physically, with full understanding of the situation, I know God saved me spiritually. At the time, I was feeling the burdens of life and felt alone and without support and tried to take my life (in a naive way that would not have worked) God told me, "I love you and this is not what I want for you." That made all the difference and I vowed to God that I would never try to take my life again or allow those thoughts to have power over me. Besides the obvious result of being alive, I am secure emotionally knowing that I am loved, regardless of what people, or circumstances may try to communicate to me.

Additionally, I anticipate taking marriage vows, at the right time, with some one. He has shown he is worthy of sacred promises by who he is as a person and how we take care of each other. In him, I see God's love and feel safe and secure.

So again, ask yourself, What do you value to that level? To what or whom, would you make sacred vows and how far would you take them?

Psalm 60 - God's Help vs Mans' Help

So here it is, the second time I am creating this post. I had a fairly complete post on Friday, but felt like the post was not really connecting with the scripture, and was me trying to paste the scripture onto what I wanted to say, and in the end, I have decided to scrap it and start all over. So here I am with psalm 60, having come back to it repeatedly over the weekend and finally ready to write about it.

After much reading and pondering, I find that I want to focus on verse 11 of the psalm;

¹¹ Give us help from trouble,
For the help of man is useless.

It brings up an interesting ideas that I have been thinking about over the weekend, how is the help of man different from the help of God and is mans' help really useless?

I can certainly think of times that I have been helped by other people and it certainly hasn't felt useless and I have appreciated it greatly, so how can it be considered useless? Well, first of all, it is important to remind myself that this is a psalm, a piece of poetic writing, given to the overly dramatic and imagery, not given to specific, concrete spiritual truths. In that context, I see that the question of mans' help is not the question to ask, but the idea to understand is the difference between God's help and mans' help. 

Considering this, it is important to understand the ability of God's help and the ability of mans' help. It is more difficult to understand the ability of God's help for me, because my understanding of God is limited by my human abilities to perceive and conceive of things, so let's start with understanding mans' help. 

People, can (not always will) help to the extent of their abilities, meaning gifts, skills, physical strength, etc, to the extent of their resources, time, money, etc, and their understanding, ability to see and understand the need, circumstances, the request, etc. In many ways this is quite broad and allows for a great deal of help from people. And perhaps it is better to talk about how people can't help. Here are some things that I find others' can't help me with: fully defining the nature of God, perfect truth, the environment around us, in other words, there are many mysteries around me that are not satisfactorily understood within the limits of human understanding.

Enter God. God is not limited by human understanding and therefore can understand these things. And it is through my relationship with God that understanding is revealed to me. Now, do I (or will I) perfectly understand these things, of course not, I am still limited, but I do find myself knowing or understand things for which I can't explain because my source is not my ability (or someone else's) ability to logic out the information, but through revelation. 

The other thing that comes to my mind when I consider this idea of God's help vs. mans' is the idea of things that when added together are greater than the sum of their parts. In nature we find things that when combined create something more that the elements that have gone into it. We can also see this with actions taken, when people combine their actions, at times, they become greater than the sum of those actions or labor. Consider a project that would take you two hours to complete, but when you get two other people to help you, it is completed within a half hour. (because this is experiential, I can't provide you with a concrete example because it would be my experience but not yours, but I have certainly known enough people to experience this that I hope you have a point of reference).

Enter God. God is in the midst of the task, bringing us beyond our abilities to accomplish something greater than we have the ability for, In many circumstances this occurs when we work in community but occasionally when we are working solo.

Does these ideas resonate with you? Have you experienced the help of God? I believe that David did understand the help of God and saw how it went beyond the help of man and therefore sought God's help in the midst of circumstances that were beyond his control. 

What about you. What help do you seek in situations outside of your control? 

Psalm 59 - Powerful Love

^{Hmmm...so here we have another Psalm that speaks of judgement of the wicked..another psalm written by David while he was running from Saul and his followers. There seems to be a lot of this in my readings this week. The interesting thing is that in seasons of my life, I have needed just that. I have needed to be reminded that others felt persecuted, that others got angry and just wanted God to take care of the people around them who were choosing to be wicked. In this season, I find myself wanting to slide over these passages because they don't connect with how I feel in this season of my life. Instead, I want to read verses that encourage me to grow in love, to grow in service, and to grow as an influencer of my environment. Of course I could jump to another portion of the Bible, and I may do that in the future, but today I want to wrestle some more with these psalms.}

^{David's words tell about the injustice of the situation he is in.} 

³ For look, they lie in wait for my life;
The mighty gather against me,
Not for my transgression nor for my sin, O Lord.
⁴ They run and prepare themselves through no fault of mine.

I am reminded of a letter I read in an article in the Huffington Post called, Dear Hypothetically Gay Son. In it, he writes the letter he would hope to write to his future son if that son were to tell him that he was gay. The phrase that I was reminded of while I read the above words in the psalm were,

Our home is a place of safety and love. The world has dealt you a difficult card. While LGBT people are becoming more accepted, it is still a difficult path to walk. You're going to experience hate and anger and misunderstandings about who you are out in the world. That will not happen here. You need to know with every fiber of who you are that when you walk in the front door of your home, you are safe, and you are loved.

^{This father is acknowledging that his son is on a road that will lead to misunderstanding and persecution, but promises that his home will be a place of safety. The father goes on to say that he will be the son's defender, for he loves every part of who his son is and would go to war for him.}

^{David also finds himself  in a place of persecution, calling on God for help.}

⁹ I will wait for You, O You his Strength;
For God is my defense.
¹⁰ My God of mercy shall come to meet me;
God shall let me see my desire on my enemies.

 Just as the father in the letter promises to be his son's defender, David knows that God will be his defender and responds with trust and later with honor for God.

¹⁶ But I will sing of Your power;
Yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning;
For You have been my defense
And refuge in the day of my trouble.
¹⁷ To You, O my Strength, I will sing praises;
For God is my defense,
My God of mercy.

So, in making this connection between the letter and the psalm, I am reminded of several things:

•  Reading about persecution and judgement reminds me that even though I may not relate it in my life, it is important for me to be creating a safe place for those who are feeling persecuted. I am called to compassion and love.
• I am also reminded of the beauty of love, the father for his son and God for David. The love that fully accepts and stands ready to defend others. A love that I strive for.
• I am also reminded to be grateful for the people in my life who operate in this love. Those who have stood by me, created a safe place for me, and have stood as my defenders.

Why might God have you reading these messages...this blog...what's message is in it for you? 

Obadiah - Desctruction and Restoration

I decided to take a quick break from the Psalms. We have been having a series at church on the minor prophets and last week was Amos. Since I won't be in town this Sunday, I decided to read Obadiah (which I am assuming this week's message is on) and share my thoughts.

One of the interesting things about Obadiah is that it is just one chapter. Like many of the messages by the minor prophets, it speaks about God's wrath toward the wicked and  the loving discipline that will be laid on them, as well as providing a message of hope for the faithful. Since Obadiah is a single chapter, you see all of these in a short amount of writing.

In Obadiah, the people who have turned away from God are the Edomites. The early verses talk about the pride of the nation.

³ The pride of your heart has deceived you,
    you who live in the clefts of the rocks
    and make your home on the heights,
you who say to yourself,
    ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’

Subsequent verses mention the things that God will take from Edom as as a part of their destrution, that are prized by the nation. These include, hidden treasures, her allies, her wise men, and her warriors. All things that Edom relies on, instead of God.

Obadiah goes on further to describe the things Edom has done to the nation of Judah. 

¹⁰ Because of the violence against your brother Jacob,
    you will be covered with shame;
    you will be destroyed forever.
¹¹ On the day you stood aloof
    while strangers carried off his wealth
and foreigners entered his gates
    and cast lots for Jerusalem,
    you were like one of them.
¹² You should not gloat over your brother
    in the day of his misfortune,
nor rejoice over the people of Judah
    in the day of their destruction,
nor boast so much
    in the day of their trouble.
¹³ You should not march through the gates of my people
    in the day of their disaster,
nor gloat over them in their calamity
    in the day of their disaster,
nor seize their wealth
    in the day of their disaster.
¹⁴ You should not wait at the crossroads
    to cut down their fugitives,
nor hand over their survivors
    in the day of their trouble.

Edom and Judah have a history, for sure. They are nations descedent from Jacob and Esau, two brothers. Jacob manipulated Esau out of his birthright and, while the two brother's reconciled, their descendants have held onto bitterness.

(The last verses tell that God's people will once again rule and possess these lands and the message of hope for the faithful is included in this chapter.)

But I want to draw you attention to the last part of verse 18,

There will be no survivors
    from Esau.”
The Lord has spoken

As a human and a Christian, I want to cry out, where is the opportunity for repentance and forgiveness for the Edomites? Don't they get a chance to change and find restoration?

A part of this is because I can recognize times when the sin of pride crops up in my life and I certainly don't want to read the message as, I am doomed to complete destruction.

So let me instead offer up some thoughts I have on this. First, as I mentioned, the nation of Edom had a long-time pattern of enmity towards the nation of Israel.  And Obadiah tells us they were filled with pride and had turned their back on God,. The essence of their identity seems to be wrapped up in their pride and their belief in their ability to make it on their own without God, or a need to show love and mercy to all those around them, specifically the Israelites.

For a moment, let's just jump for a moment to Saul of the New Testament. He had his identity wrapped up in pride.

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.(Philippians 3:4b-6)

And he did not show love and mercy toward the followers of Jesus. Saul was stripped of his pride, repented and reconciled with the followers of Jesus...and became Paul. The essence of who Saul was, was utterly destroyed and Paul was born out of the ashes, a phoenix-type experience. In his own way, Saul was an Edomite and was destroyed utterly and reborn as a new person, Paul, one of the faithful who was restored.

Now back to the Edomites and the question of an opportunity for change and restoration, I believe they too had and have the opportunity to be reborn as a new people, ones in relationship with God, filled with love and mercy for others.

If you haven't already traveled there with your thoughts, let me pose the idea that Edomites are all people who, filled with pride,  believe that they are independent of the need for God, the Divine presence that calls us into relationship and speaks to us of love and mercy towards others.

Certainly I am on a journey to utterly destroy my pride that leads me to operate outside of a relationship of love and mercy with others and relationship with God. How about you?

Psalm 58 - The Importance of Injustice to Motivating Justice

This morning I read this psalm in the New Living Translation on my phone, and then started pondering it and considering the role of injustice in our world. As I sat down to write about it, I opened up the New King James Version and started to skim through it, but got no further than verse 1.

Justice- do you rulers know the meaning of the word? Do you judge people fairly? (NLT)

Do you indeed speak righteousness, you silent ones? Do you judge uprightly, you sons of men? (NKJV)

What immediately struck me was the term silent ones in the NKJV. While I had originally considered this psalm in the light of people making choices that were actively unjust, that new term caused me to consider those who don't actively see justice.

Does this change anything for you? For me, it causes pause because it means I suddenly need to consider whether I have been silent while an injustice has gone on. I have to consider whether I am in the number that this psalm is speaking about. 

The other thing this highlights, is translational differences. In fact, before I looked at the second translation and started typing this, a conversation ensued this morning about translations, which was started with the comment made by a Biblical scholar who referenced the New English Version version of a scripture in his writings but then in a side note mentioned that that particular writer didn't see it as a accurate version, presumably because it is a translation that is based on ideas not a word by word translation. This progressed into a conversation as to whether adjustments that were made by scribes and scholars who were writing down oral records and transcribing religious writings that are included in the Bible were divinely managed...which led to a discussion of whether a sentient God could make the translations or adjustments that were not divinely inspired fade away...which led to talk about free will...and on iy went, but I digress from where we started. All this is to say that my morning prepared me to notice and be sensitive to the differences in translation.

So let's go back to this psalm, while the psalm starts with this question, it very quickly answers it with no and goes on to tell of the wickedness of the men this psalm is directed towards. But as I pondered all of this, I started to think of the role of wickedness and injustice. Some of the thoughts I had were:

• If there wasn't injustice, would we appreciate and understand the importance of justice?
• Because we have injustice, we have opportunities to speak out for and practice justice, how important is that is develop into the people we were created to be? Without injustice, could we reach and become all that God ordained us to be?
• If the world was just (which would alleviate many struggles that exist in the world), would we appreciate that state of affairs, or would we not realize the beauty of that state and just see wickedness in a different form?

I don't know about you, but if I look at my decisions, I can see times when I stood up for justice and times that I failed to. I believe that it is more the former than the latter, but I guess that I am not the best judge of that. What about you? What do you think about some of the questions above and what questions are you left with?

Psalm 57 - Intimate Trust

Have you ever had a person that you trusted completely? After reading and rereading this psalm, I kept coming back to this phrase in verse 1, "For my soul trusts in You;" I really love the way the words are used to express a trust that is more than the idea of "I trust you." It is not just me that trusts, but my souls, the core and essence of my being, with all pretense and outward masks stripped away. Something deep inside me trusts. For me, this creates an intimacy to that trust. Not just that I believe the information the other person is sharing, but that I trust in their being and how their being interacts with me.


I know that I crave such intimate trust with people, and I think most people do also, but our society breeds so much distrust that it is difficult to achieve that and believe it is possible. In a world where we see relationships fall apart so easily because of betrayal and selfishness, how can we expose our soul to another person and give them ultimate power over us because in giving this most intimate trust comes the ability for that person to cause us the greatest pain and scar us the most. Would you give someone the key the causing you the deepest pain? Do you believe another the other person will flawlessly guard that gift and never cause pain? Are you willing to risk some level of pain in order to have the joy of that intimacy? Maybe you have walked that road before and now bear the scars.


In this psalm, as David faces trials and difficulties, he has found that intimate trust with Go and I believe that in finding that trust with God, I am able to give that trust to others in my life. When I rest secure in the knowledge that God will care for and guard my soul, I can give that intimate trust to another person, knowing that God will cover the minor scars. I believe that the joy that can be found in sharing that intimate trust with God and a few others in my life is worth the risk of pain, but only because I know the steadfastness of God. Whiler I may get scars from the people I choose to give this intimate trust to, I know that that is never true from God.


What saddens me in the world, is when I listen to the others stories and they feel they are scarred by God and this crushes their ability to find intimate trust with others. I think what is saddest for me is that in listening to the story, it is always a person, who claims to be acting in God's name that has broken trust. With an intangible God, it can be difficult to separate God and people who claim to serve and act for God. These two become mixed in our emotions and we end of putting the pain or betrayal we have received from a person onto God. Now God is big enough to bear it and God will still be there waiting for you when you realize that is wasn't God who caused the pain and God will be there to once again share intimate trust with you.


Have you had an experience that has made trust hard for you? Have you felt betrayed by God? If you have, I urge you to revisit those memories and see if it is God, or a person claiming to act in God's name that is at the root of the pain.

Psalm 56 - To Be Fully and Amazingly Loved

As I read this Psalm, I had to stop and think about verse 8.

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?

What does it mean for somebody to be able to number my wanderings, put my tears in a bottle and record these things?  In order to number and record my wanderings, you either have to be present to see where I go. Even someone with access to my calendar couldn't know exactly where I actually go and what events I do or which I end up not doing for some reason. The calendar is a record of my intentions, not my realities. In am sure my mother could give a reasonable accounting of my wanderings, as could my boyfriend, but neither would be able give an fully accurate count. And to put each of my tears in a bottle, it requires being there, for each tear, in order to really understand the sorrow and collect it. Again, there are people in my life that could come close to knowing each and every sorrow, but some would be missed. Only someone who is 100% present, 100% of the time, could accomplish this. I might wish that others knew me this completely and intimately, but only God does. 


When I take a minute to fully digest this, I sometimes have trouble grasping it. I can even start to wonder if this is truly possible, but then I consider the work of God in my life. The ways my life has been impacted by God's work, the times, I have heard God's voice or felt God's leading, the times the right person with the right word has come at the right time. I have had too many of these experiences to question God's existence, but I admit that sometimes, I can't fully get my mind around all of who God is. 

Not only that, but I think about who would really want to number my wanderings and collect my tears? Only someone who see my as very valuable and someone who loves me completely would even attempt these things. I believe there are people in my life who would do this if they could, but only God does.


Do you have a verse that helps you ponder all that God is? If you are like me, there are probably many. These are verses that help us contemplate who God is, but also remind us of the ways God has shared our path. The verses that we can seek when we question God's nature. 


Tonight, I go to sleep reminded that I am loved and important, not just to people I share my life with, but by the one who created me and lives within me.

Psalm 55 - Crash and Burn

Well, this is a long overdue post. I was sharing on Wednesday night with a couple of guys from church that I felt a call to get back to this spiritual practice and asked them to check-in with me on it...accountability is a great tool for getting into good practices.

But, for a return to the blog, this psalm was particularly interesting. We get a sense of what David is feeling right away.

Give ear to my prayer, O God,
And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
² Attend to me, and hear me;
I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily,
³ Because of the voice of the enemy,
Because of the oppression of the wicked;
For they bring down trouble upon me,
And in wrath they hate me.

 As I read this, I thought, well, I am in a great place and certainly am not relating to David's fear and feel of persecution. As I continued to reflect on this and started thinking about David running from Saul, who had been a close friend, I remember days that I could relate to David's distress. A great sense of gratitude came over me and I remembered the days some one I had been really close to was doing everything possible to make my life difficult and I recognized that those days were in the past.


To feel persecuted by some one who you have developed a relationship with, not only becomes distressing because of the persecution, but also because of the relationship. Possibly it is lost, or at least damaged to some degree. But what was once love, is now twisted into something else. For me, it was such a terrible feeling and I can relate to David being chased by some one who he still cares a great deal for, trying to understand why this is all happening to him...but here I am digressing, because the piece of the scriptures that really grabbed me this morning were later in the psalm.

¹⁶ As for me, I will call upon God,
And the Lord shall save me.
¹⁷ Evening and morning and at noon
I will pray, and cry aloud,
And He shall hear my voice.

 As I read these verses, I felt the peace and strength of the reminder that God is faithful. God listens and God is there. Many times in the psalms, David and other psalmists talk about how God has heard them and has been faithful and this is as true in my life as it was for them. I was also reminded of a song, Crash and Burn by Savage Garden. When I listen to the song, I can't help but think of God.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

I encourage you to listen to the whole song or look at the rest of the lyrics and listen to the song on YouTube.


So, are you feeling persecuted or overwhelmed? Know that God is there for you, but also, if you drop me a line, I will be honored to pray for you, that you would feel God's faithfulness.