Prayer for a Friend

This morning I received an email from a friend asking me to pray for her and her work situation. It has been toxic and she is concerned for her professional reputation and her ability to work in the environment she is in. We have been praying in our small group for this situation on and off over the last few months and at times, it seems like there is a break in the clouds, but then things seem to go back into darkness and the struggles increase.

I composed the following prayer based on different scriptures with inspiration from a book called The Sword and the Spirit The Word of God by Joy Lamb. This book has been a light to me over the years, helping me to pray, when I couldn't find the words because I either felt dry in my Spirit or when I was in the center of the situation anjd felt I was drowning.

I want to share this prayer with you. I am committed to pray this daily for my friend over the next month (I have set it up in my Google calendar with the prayer in the details) and invite you to pray this with me for my friend or feel free to use it as it fits into situations with people you know.

Thank you God, that your word is a lamp unto her feet and a light unto her path. (Psalm 119:105). As she walks in this time of difficulty, I thank you that You go before her and make her rough places smooth. You will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through iron bars. (Isaiah 45:2). We know that you, God, will deliver her from the hand of the wicked (Psalm 97:10) and that the Holy Spirit will lead her into all truth (John 16:13)

I thank you Lord that You said 'Light shall shine out of darkness', and You are the one who has shone in my friend and her boss's hearts in this situation to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6) You can turn this situation from one of mourning into joy. As my fiend continues the time she has in this place she is in, I thank you that you store up sound wisdom for her. You are a shield to her as she walks in integrity. (Proverbs 2:7) Comfort her in the knowledge that she can do all things through Christ who strengthens her. (Philippians 4:13)

AMEN

One of the great powers of prayer is that it not only is good for the spirit(s) of the one(s) receiving prayer but also for our own spirit.

Do you have a friend who needs prayer? I encourage you to find scripture, God's word, to lift up that situation. If you share it with me, I will be glad to join you in prayer.

Obediah 11-15 - Taking the Time to Understand

Recently, I received a wedding invitation from one of the couples in my small group and the first thing I noticed was that the grooms first name was not what I thought it was. I have always known him as Chase but I learned from the invitation that his name was Ming. The next morning when we were running I asked him about it and he shared that when he was finishing college and looking for internships, he was getting no response from his resume. A friend suggested that he use an American name on his resume...and suddenly the responses started coming in (some from the same places that had rejected his resume previously). I was shocked to hear this. Chase sounds and acts very Americanized and although it is clear he is of Asian descent, he is as American as I am and is a US citizen. I apologized that he had to experience this and expressed my disappointment that employers would get hung up on the name and not get past it on the resume. As I was mulling this over in my mind, he started to tell me a story...

He told me that he had been running/walking at the same beach that we run at the week before with his friend Brian and he also had his and his future bride's 10 month old son in his stroller. As they were going along the beach a woman in a passing car started yelling at them...and then pulled over and flipped them the bird. [I had to chuckle because I could see where it was going...two guys and a stroller...and the irony was that these guys were straight and it was only my friend's baby.] And Chase asked, if this kind of stuff ever happen to Thomas and I. I told him that of course it did. In spite of the fact that we live in Massachusetts near Boston, one of most accepting places in the United States Occasionally we have people yell and shout obscenities at us when we are walking down the street holding hands. I admitted that it is one of the reasons I am not in favor of a public place for our wedding; I would not want the beauty of that day and that commitment marred by someone who is unable to control their opinions. I told him we also have people stop and tell us how great and cute we are. He went on to express that he was scared when he and his friend Brian had experienced this woman. The woman was pretty mad and he and his friend are shorter than average; he was concerned about violence...

The rest of our run I continued to think about these conversations and how God would call us to act. As I thought about it, I was reminded that Jesus spent time with all kinds of people. We read about him in conversation with pharisees (Luke 7:36-50), we see him talking to women (John 4:1-38) and tax collectors (Luke 19:1-10). Jesus taught both in the countryside (Matthew 4:23) and the cities (Mark 11:27). Jesus knew many people, rich, poor, revered, and cast out and he spent time with them all. He took the time to know people. We too are called to know and understand people, being careful how we judge and treat them.

One of the places that I am reminded of this is in Obediah:

11 On the day you stood aloof while strangers carried off his wealth and foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem, you were like one of them. 12 You should not look down on your brother in the day of his misfortune, nor rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their destruction, nor boast so much in the day of their trouble. 13 You should not march through the gates of my people in the day of their disaster, nor look down on them in their calamity in the day of their disaster, nor seize their wealth in the day of their disaster. 14 You should not wait at the crossroads to cut down their fugitives, nor hand over their survivors in the day of their trouble. 15 "The day of the LORD is near for all nations. As you have done, it will be done to you; your deeds will return upon your own head. 

 In this case, the prophet is reminding the people not take advantage of others' misfortune or look down on them, because circumstances can change and you might find yourself in that place. Obadiah was reminding the people to have compassion and treat others with dignity and respect, for all people will face God and have their actions examined. 

As I think about this in relation to my friend having to change his name in order to get responses to his resume, I think how foolish it is for someone to make a judgement based on a name. From a name, you can not possibly know if someone is qualified for the position. By ignoring that resume, the company could be missing out on an employee that would bring that company to new heights, all because they couldn't read past the name. What a shame. Possibly it was unconscious, possibly because they thought this person would be stealing a job from a US citizen, or possibly they thought there would be a language barrier...but these things would not have been true. 

When I looked at the experience my friend has with the woman, I can't help but think who was hurt by her assumptions...assumptions that were wrong. She was, because it caused her to feel great anger and I am sure that stuck with her for a good portion of the day. My friend experienced fear, so he was hurt, and I imagine if others witnessed it, it was uncomfortable and raised emotions in them as well. Ultimately, everyone was negatively affected...all for a wrong assumption. But even if she had been correct, what positive difference did she make? None. No one walked away feeling good and no one was moved to change their opinion or decisions to her beliefs.

As people trying to make good and right choices, as people who claim to know and want to share God with others, we must engage with those around us. We need to take the time to understand who they are and we need to focus our energy on loving. Loving does not mean agreeing and supporting everything, but loving works for the good of all people and leaves a path of understanding and respect.

Luke 7:37-38, 47 - A Beautiful Expression of Love

Last week, while I was in the middle of conducting an online webinar, one of my co-workers came into my office carrying a bouquet of flowers and put them on my desk. As I continued the session, I snuck a quick peek at the card which read, "Jimmy, You are Amazing! Love, Thomas". As you can imagine, my heart swelled in my chest and a tear escaped from my eye. These beautiful flowers were not for a special occasion, they were "just because". I felt special. These flowers were a true gift of love.

These flowers made me think of a story in Luke chapter 7. A story of a beautiful expression of love. Love that does not hinge on my behavior, but is given.

³⁷ A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. ³⁸ As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them...
⁴⁷ Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

One of the first things that catches me about this story is the woman's love for Jesus. She comes and humbles herself, pouring expensive perfume onto Jesus' feet and wipes his feet with her hair. A couple things to note:

1. Perfume was very expensive and the amount this woman poured on Jesus would have cost a great deal. This was not an easy gift to give, it would have cost her much.
2. In Jesus' time a woman did not bear her hair in public. If she did people thought she was promiscuous. This woman gave up her dignity to give this gift to Jesus. The personal cost was great.

Clearly this woman had great love for Jesus. She gave up of her fortune and her dignity to lavish love on Jesus. She lavishes love on Jesus. Not because he did something for her but because of who He is. The flowers I received were like that. They were a lavish gift of love, not because I did something to deserve them, but because of who I am.

Jesus responds to this gift, pronouncing her forgiven and further explains that she is able to express this great love because she feels the freedom of forgiveness. The forgiveness was not a result of her love, an expression made possible by her forgiven state.

Jesus goes on to compare the love offered by the woman to that of his host, a prominent religious leader in the village who did not offer to wash his feet, did not offer perfume, nor greeted him with a kiss, all common courtesies of the day when hosting an honored guest.

The host did not see his need for forgiveness and therefore had no great expression of love, the woman did and her expression was beautiful and honored Jesus.

Are self aware of your shortcomings? Do you know your need for forgiveness? Do you have a great appreciation for the wholeness and grace given to you by God and others around you? What can be seen in your expressions of love?

Proverbs 25:16 - What I Learned from Ice Cream

This week, my small group was between studies so we planned a social event. For some reason the local ice cream shop comes up often in our group and they have what is called the "Brain Freeze" challenge that a couple of us have been talking about doing, so we decided to make that our social event.

Now the "Brain Freeze" challenge involves eating 8 scoops of ice cream, 6 servings of liquid toppings, and 4 servings of candy toppings. You can choose your flavors of all of these and as they make it they weigh it so that in the end you have 3 pounds of ice cream and toppings. If you can eat it all in 30 minutes or less, you win a free t-shirt. Some of you are probably saying that sounds great, where do I sign-up, while others are probably groaning. Two of us decided to do it.

Well let me tell you I have been excited about this all summer. I love ice cream and felt like this would be no problem. We each selected our ice cream flavors and toppings and they made up our very large sundaes...and there was pleasure in every bite...until I got about 3/4 of the way through...my stomach started to rebel and eating ice cream became something I was trying to do, not something to be enjoyed.

Proverbs 25:16 sings a familiar song...too much of a good thing...

If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.

My experience with the "Brain Freeze" challenge reminded me of this. It reminded me that there is a price to pay for gluttony. What starts out as good and a pleasure turns into something else, something that is not honoring, and something that can leave you feeling sick.

The "Brain Freeze" challenge is not a long-term example of this issue, but if we examine our lives, we can find good examples. Perhaps our excess is in an area such as alcohol, eating, exercise, or one of many other things. Each of these can be something that in some amounts brings us pleasure and can be a part of a balanced life, but overdue it and you pay a price. This excess starts to impact other areas of your life and your ability to experience the full joy that God has planned for you. With the "Brain Freeze" challenge, my stomach felt full the next morning and I skipped breakfast. Throughout the day, my stomach continued to not feel great but I did eat food a couple of times to make sure I was giving my body energy. Each time I did, I felt a little sick and the experience was certainly NOT a pleasure.

Do you have excesses in your life? It may seem like a pleasure now, but there will be a price. Consider the advice from proverbs and experience things in balance. Indulge, but don't overindulge so that you can feel the pleasure that God has for you in each experience.

And for those of you wondering...I finished my 3 pounds of ice cream with 8 minutes to spare...and got my free t-shirt (in a size large enough for me to swim in).

Responding To Disappointment

So a month ago, I wrote a post on Disappointment, featuring Romans 5:3-5 and this week I got to live it...

Last Sunday I got a voice mail from the innkeeper where my fiancé and I are supposed to get married next May. When I called back, she explained that she had to sell the B&B and would be closing in November and that the buyer had a different purpose in mind for the property and would not be able to honor our contract. She felt terrible and would be sending back our deposit plus some additional money to help out with our wedding.

What I wanted to do:

• I wanted to get angry and demand to know why she would let us book the place just a couple of months previously. She had to have some idea that this was going to happen.
• I wanted to cry because all our advance planning was for nothing and we had just sent in the designs for our invitations...with all the wrong information.
  

What actually happened:

• I expressed my condolences that she had to close the Inn and thanked her for letting us know early and for her generosity in contributing some additional money to our wedding fund. She also had made some calls to some other local B&B's to see who might be able to host our event, and I thanked her for that. I chose to show understanding and sympathy.

While I was upset and disappointed, I knew that both my spirit and the innkeepers were on the line. If I allowed my anger anger and frustration rule me, both of us would pay a price. For the innkeeper, I would add to her guilt feelings and I would be discounting the kindnesses she had showed in the situation. For myself, I would let anger and bitterness into my heart and possible allow it to mar, what will be one of the greatest days of my life, the day I join my life in the commitment of marriage. Further, I couldn't help but think of the story in John chapter 8 where the religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus who had been caught in the act of adultry:

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” verse 7

I have certainly messed up and disappointed others and I will in the future. When others mess up and cause me disappointment, I try to consider how I would like others to respond to my mistakes and do likewise.

Now as the week has gone on, we have done a great deal of research into other options and venues, I have prayed, and my small group has prayed with me. Many options involve changing the wedding date (and we loved our date because by God-incidence we had scheduled our wedding for the 10th anniversary of legal gay marriage in Massachusetts, the state where we live) and budget seems to be an obstacle for many great locations as we are trying to make it a weekend event. But here are some of the places this week's prayers have brought me to:

• Focus on what is important. I have stepped back to consider what is most important about my wedding. This event celebrates a great love. It does not need to rely on money, a certain date, specific things being present or a specific location. It is about Thomas and I and the love and commitment we share. Whatever works out, those key elements will be there. That day will be amazing for just that! Anything else is added beauty and blessing.
• See new possibilities. As we have explored different options, I have come to look for what new things these different venues offer instead of what they don't offer that were at the Inn. For instance, in looking at a retreat and conference center, I am thinking about the fire pit available and the opportunities for a campfire and s'mores. This was not something we would have been able to do previously and it could be a very different and fun way to spend time with our guests on the eve of our wedding. For those who know me, I am a s'more master and a big campfire fan. Focusing on this helps me to spend less time thinking about the fact that we will have to do additional food planning for this venue to stay in our budget if we chose it.

Thinking about handling disappointments and saying how we will respond when they happen is a very different experience than actually facing it and choosing to respond with love.

Do you have an example of a time when you have chosen to respond with love and patience in the face of disappointment? I would love to hear about it.

Dueteronomy 4:29 - Confronting Yourself with God

It is clear from the Bible that God desires relationship with us and scripture makes all kinds of references as to what that relationship is:

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 1 John 3:1

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25

Throughout scripture God sets up the idea of a positive, incredibly intimate relationship with God...parent...best friend...spouse. But if you are like me, you find it a challenge to hold God in one of those spots; to see God in the same way you see that parents who you have an amazingly special relationship with, the best friend that you can call anytime day or night, or the spouse that you never want to spend a moment separated from. The big difference is that those people are physical and tangible and we are confronted with them, standing in front of us, on a regular basis.

But we do get glimpses of this, moments when God feels that close and that real. This comes at those times when we are see and are closest to God, at those times when we confront ourselves with God on a regular basis and we feel the intimacy. Dueteronomy tells us:

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. Dueteronomy 4:29

But how do we confront ourselves with God?

• Intentionally look for God - As you walk through your day, see what God has done and thank God. Make it a habit so that your response to beauty, a positive event, or something that causes wonder is, "Thank you God!"
• Meditate and think on God - Maybe this is a regular reading and meditation of scripture, maybe it is a time of prayer, or maybe it is a time of complete contemplation, emptying your thoughts of all distractions of the world and focusing on the divine. Make a time of meditation a daily habit
• Involve God in regular everyday activities - Bring God into routine activities, such as eating. Say grace before a meal, using your exercise time to memorize a key scripture verse, post scriptures on your bathroom mirror that you read to yourself every time you are in front of it. Make God a part of each day, just as your would a person who is incredibly important and special to you. 

When we are confronting ourselves with God on a regular basis, our relationship grows and we see those glimpses of God in the intimate relationship that he desires to be in with us.  We will find moments when we feel like God is that loving parent, loyal best friend, our other half.For me, the song The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe embodies this desired intimacy.

What are the ways you confront yourself with God and build that intimate relationship?

Creating a Safe Place for Engagement

Last week, my friend Derek asked me if I was familiar with Andrew Marin's ministry and what I thought of him. I responded that I had heard about him, but I wasn't overly enthusiastic about him because from things I had read from people in the LGBT community he held the belief that homosexuality was a sin and that was underlying in his work.

Then this week, I got involved in a discussion with my small group about judgement and engagement. We were focused on the idea of Jesus reaching out to those around him, regardless of their background. Further, we discussed how the church could better reach those who were outside the church. Ideas such as, no judgement, a safe place, and engagement came up.


As I was thinking about both of these things, I started considering Jesus and his engagement with those around him and a few scriptures and ideas came to mind. First, Jesus engaged with all types of people:

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” John 4:9

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Luke 15:1, 2

When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” Luke 19:5

Jesus had people of all different financial backgrounds in his audience, all different education levels, city folk and country folk, and people of all different social positions in the community. Jesus engaged with all sorts of people. His goal was to reach out and touch the heart of each one. He offered God to each and left them to choose whether to accept the gift he had to offer. He made him self safe to each. We can see that all types of people felt they could approach Jesus.

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said... John 3:1, 2

 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” John 9:2 

 When he entered Capernaum, a centurion approached him and appealed to him, Matthew 8:5

Jesus was a safe place. Jesus listened and saw each person before him. he did not send them away or make them feel unwelcome. Jesus did not write them off for their past choices or their current attitudes. But the thing we need to realize is that Jesus did recognize sin in them and encourage them to change and choose relationship with good and live a life a love. He acknowledged faults and without making the people unworthy, and he offered a different path. He did judge them, but he offered them a path to wholeness and relationship with God.

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:14

She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. John 8:11

“I have no husband,” she replied. Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” John 4:17, 18

Jesus loved people enough not to let them stay the way they were. He may have been harsh at times, but that was with the people whose sin lay in their righteousness, because they needed to realize their distance from God. For all, he met them in the place they were at and showed them a new path. And this is what we as the church need to be in order to reach people around us. We need to love them where they are at and offer them another path. Our love can't be contingent on them choosing the path we are offering them, it must be genuine love. In this way, we can create a space that is a safe place where we can engage. 

Walking away from my thoughts, I have some further realizations about my opening stories. With respect to Andrew Marin, I realize that he is doing as Jesus did, trying to love people where they are at and offer them a different path, one that he believes is of God. I realize that he and I just have a different idea of what God's view of homosexuality is. While he and I don't agree, I do respect his meeting people in the place that they are at with love. (So if you happen to be reading this Mr. Marin, I apologize for not clearly seeing the goodness of your methods because we see scripture differently on this topic. As for my small group, I think we need to remember that the key is loving people in the place that they are and offering (not forcing) others another path. It isn't a judgement-free environment, but it is a cocoon of love and acceptance.

Do you love people like Jesus? 

Luke 15:20b,28 - Grace

As I mentioned several posts ago, my small group is studying Luke 15: 1-3, 11-32 using a book and study called Prodigal God. The title of the study is one of the things that really captures me. Traditionally, we think of the younger son as the prodigal, but this study directs you to think of the Father as the prodigal. Crazy...until you examine a definition of prodigal:

1. recklessly extravagant
2. having spent everything

 ...so maybe you are still thinking that fits the son and not the father, but I want you to consider these two verses.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." (20b)

 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him." (28)

What the Father is recklessly extravagant about is love. He abandons all dignity and lifts his garment to run to and embrace the younger son who has returned and he again abandons dignity to leave the celebration to beg the older son to come in and celebrate too. This is grace! Neither son deserved this reckless love, but the father gives it to him.

Grace is a tricky concept for us to grasp. We want to insist on making restitution, as the younger son wanted to or we stand proud as the older son, holding onto our righteousness, and not receiving the gift, as the older son does. We struggle with receiving something that we don't feel we deserve...and yet we want it...but we can't accept it. We feel we need to do something to earn it. 


The idea of grace has become the topic of many songs and messages in an effort for us to understand and grasp the reality of grace. God has been giving grace for a long time though and as this video from the Skit Guys points out, even the disciples struggle with grace. The bible tells so many stories that involve grace and we see so many receive this and yet we continue to struggle with it in our own lives.

Click for Video

In fact, the struggle to accept grace impacts the way we approach God. In my small group this week, as we watched the Prodigal God video in its entirety again, Tim Keller made a statement that caught my attention. He expresses the idea that Jesus uses this story to tell us that we need to reexamine everything we ever understood about how to approach God. This week I latched onto that and started looking at how I approach God...

Think about that for a moment. How do you approach God? Are you heavy with the mistakes you have made? Are you confident that you have been good and can stand up tall with God? Are you ready to receive an absolutely free gift, knowing that you can not EVER balance the scale between you and God? Can you just BE with God?

Our understanding of grace has a big impact on how we approach God. Until we can fully wrap our head around grace, we will come to God with baggage. The good news is, that God is ready and willing to take that baggage from us. Like with the sons in the Luke, God is ready to willingly, extravagantly, and recklessly love us until we understand and embrace grace.

This week, I am reexamining my understandings of grace and how I approach God. Will you join me?

Romans 5:3-5 - Disappointment

Last week, my fiancé asked me if I had any quotes or poems about disappointment...and it could even be scripture; he was preparing a discussion topic for the small group he facilitates.

Several days later, when I remembered his request (my delay was probably a disappointment to him, ironically), I was immediately drawn to a scripture and a quote from a popular children's book.

The scripture was Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

 This is a scripture that I often turn to when life feels difficult. It reminds me that there is purpose in everything that I experience. Each experience shapes and changes me and is a part of who I am today. I like the man that I am and when I really look at it, most of the traits that I admire about myself were forged in challenges and tough times, not in the seasons of smooth sailing. I have often found myself thanking God for difficulties that I have experienced because without them, I would not have become a person of determination, assertiveness, empathy, and many other positive traits. And I am further grateful that I can recognize this truth and the goodness of personal growth. Of course, when I am in the middle of struggles, that is not always so easy to see. I often need some time and distance to get perspective.

Now later this week, a coworker of mine made a comment that I was very patient and I didn't let things upset me or become frustrated. That isn't always the case, but I do strive for that. But as she was saying this, I was brought back to this scripture because it is from times of trials and suffering that those traits have been formed. It is those seasons that have given me the wisdom to step back from circumstances and evaluate my reactions to events to see what will be fruitful and what will only make the situation worse for myself. Stopping to assess and make a more thoughtful response to events is something I have trained myself to do through some difficult situations.

But let's be honest, it just doesn't always work out. For me, this is especially true when I am tired. It seems like little things go badly and my response becomes very emotional. I have to fight grumpiness and the desire to lash out. Sometimes I can win the battle, but I also lose it as well. In those times, I feel like the other quote I gave my fiancé,  from Judith Viorst's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day:

 I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

 If you have ready the book, you know that everything seems to go wrong for Alexander. None of these things are earth-shattering but as they pile up, Alexander's day just gets worse and worse...until finally, as he is going to bed, his mom reminds him that some days are like that...even in Australia.

What I love about this story is that it acknowledges that sometimes our day is bad. It has one thing after another go bad, the day is terrible, and we have disappointments; that this is a reality of life...even in Australia. It gives me permission to have a bad day, to occasionally let my disappointment show and be a little grumpy. It also reminds me that just like Alexander's bad day, my bad day also comes to an end and the next day is a brand new day, filled with potential.

I think the key is to take that disappointment and put it in perspective. Look at it for the character trait grown/formed, or the lesson to be learned. And then, to give thanks for that trait or lesson, for it just develops us closer to the beautiful and amazing person we are becoming.

Do you struggle with disappointments and how to deal with them? Maybe next time you are in the middle of that, you can stop, and see the potential for growth, and give thanks for the opportunity to become more than you were.

Philippians 4:6-9 - Getting the Stress Out of Inner Peace

Today I was talking to a coworker of mine. She was sharing about her weekend which included sharing the stress she was feeling in a personal relationship. Listening to her, it became clear that she was not feeling peace at all. In that relationship, she is ignoring what she needs in order to please the other person, and then becoming very upset when her needs aren't being met. She is making it her job to care for the other person and expecting the other person to take care of caring for her. Throw this on top of work stress she is feeling and she is not at peace. Instead of having a balance of times of work and refreshment, she moves from one environment that causes her stress to another.

As I was listening and asking God for wisdom, I was reminded that looking to another person to be responsible for our peace is never going to work. As we talked, I tried to help her identify what her needs were and help her find ways to take responsibility for those needs. In her case, she felt a desire to go out and do things sometimes, not just hang around home. She wanted this person to take her out and do things but this person was content to be very low-key, close to home and preferred to not make plans. This results in no plans and no peace for her.

Have you ever been in need of inner peace? If your answer is no, well...I could would love to hear your story and strategies.

Inner peace is something most of us strive for; although what causes us to feel peace may be vastly different. Some feel inner piece from knowing they are unconditionally loved, some from having financial security, some find it in trust that they will be taken care of and some in being in a safe environment. Whatever it is that causes you to be in a state of inner peace, it is important to recognize that if we base our feeling of inner peace on another person, or even ourselves, it will fail. When it all comes down to it, we screw-up. Some of us less than others, but we screw-up. We make bad decisions, or fail to do something, or do it in a way that brings hurt and harm. As much as we want to be harbingers of peace, we are imperfect.

The good news is that inner peace can be found in God. In trust, in faith, in accepting the gifts of love and salvation that God offers.

I want to share a passage from Philippians four that has always been near and dear to me:

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Two key ideas I find in this passage is the idea of letting go and the idea of holding on.

In the first part, this passage asks us to let go of anxiety. This does not necessarily mean we should let go of those things, but we should release the anxiety. For instance if your are feeling stress from a work situation, release the anxiety. Understand that some things you don't have control over and release those things. For the things you can control, allow yourself to set up and pursue ideals that will improve the situation. This doesn't have to mean leaving the job, just recognizing what you have control over and work to change that and release the stress of those things you can't control
.

This is not an easy thing to accomplish, but by taking little steps, over time, you will find that the situation changes and improves and peace will start to infiltrate that environment.

The second part asks us to hold on to things; things that are good, true, excellent, admirable. That involves looking at the situation and recognizing what is good and worthy. Going back to a work stress, you might start to think about those things involved that are good. Are there co-workers that you connect positively with and/or bring strengths to the work you are involved with. What things about the environment make you comfortable? Have you accomplished some things that you are proud of? Hold onto and focus on those things.

Again, this can be a challenge, particularly if the situation has anxiety attached to it.

Think of that thing which gives you great stress, be open to different and better opportunities if they present themselves, thus giving yourself permission to let go of your current situation if it produces a lot of anxiety. Also give up the idea that the current situation has to stay the same. Some things you will be unable to change, but other things you can. How can you make the environment better? What positive impacts can you have?  This can help you release the anxiety because you are reminding yourself it doesn't have to be permanent. Then consider the positive things about your situation. What ways are you growing? What are the good things about the environment? What is good about the people around you? Hold onto these things! Celebrate them! As you focus on the positive, things will change, if nothing else, your outlook and attitude will change and you will find peace.

You can not expect others to take care of ensuring your peace. Follow the advice from Philippians and let go...and hold on...with God's help, you will find peace.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26 - We Need Each Other

Last week I was arranging some flowers. It was a large bunch so I grabbed more than one vase, one large and one small. My thought was to put a single flower in the small vase and the rest in the other.I grabbed out a especially pretty dark purple mum from the bunch and put it in the small vase. As I stood there and considered it, I started to notice some imperfections and I realized that it wasn't quite so pretty by itself. As I grabbed a stem of greenery to add to the small vase to create some architectural interest.  I thought, we are like that flower, beautiful, yet alone, are flaws are more noticeable.

When a person stands by him or herself, in independence, it becomes easier to see the imperfections. Any flaw or mistake is easily noticed. We can also see their unique beauty as well. I would bet we can each think of a person who we place in a category by him or herself. We know all the amazing and beautiful things about that person and if we have a strong connection to that person, we notice there presence whenever that person is in our environment...but we are also aware of that person's flaws.

Now let's place that person in community. Suddenly that person's flaws seem to diminish because where one is weak, another is strong. Where one is foolish, another is wise. The strength and beauty of each person tends to come forward, while the weaknesses and flaws fade into the community.

The Bible talks about community in 1 Corinthians 12. Let's just look at a few verses:

²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” ²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, ²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, ²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. ²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

 God understood that in community, we would be able to be strong and accomplish much. One of my favorite phrases in these verses is, "but that its parts should have equal concern for each other." God is reminding us that we will have need of others caring for us, just as we need to be concerned for others.

I was also reminded of this last Sunday in church when a reading by George Odell was referenced, titled We Need One Another:

We need one another when we mourn and would be comforted… when we are in trouble and afraid… when we despair, in temptation, and need to be recalled to our best selves again.
We need one another when we would accomplish some great purpose, and cannot do it alone… in the hour of our successes, when we look for someone to share our triumphs [and] in the hour of our defeat when with encouragement we might endure and stand again.
We need one another when we come to die, and would have gentle hands prepare us for the journey.  All our lives we are in need, and others are in need of us.

This reading also points out how strongly we need to be in community. The irony is, that we try to be independent. With everything out there showing us and speaking truth to us about our need for community, we are determined to prove that we are individually strong and we can handle it on our own. When we need help, we are embarrassed and ashamed to ask for it. We have no trouble asking for help or prayers for another person, but to look into someone eye's and ask them to help us...to pray for our deep need...that is one of the hardest things for us to do.

We are eager to help others, to fill their need and often encourage others to call on us for help, but we struggle to seek it for ourselves. It makes us vulnerable to rely on another person and to ask for help, particularly if we might not have help to offer them in return. The idea of being in debt scares us...and yet we are in debt to our creator, for our very life. We need God, we need people, and others need us.

Do you have a need? One that you are reluctant to ask others for help with? It can be scary, just like jumping off a stage into a crowd of people. But the beautiful thing about community is that they catch and carry you. Take a risk, ask for help and feel your community carry you.

*Here is a bonus, as I was looking for the George Odell reading, I came across this song by Sanctus Real called We Need Each Other.


Enjoy!

Philippians 4:8 - Holiness as a Way to Live

What do you think of when you hear the word holiness?

Do you think of something unattainable, something untainted, something that is perfect? Do people such as Mother Theresa come to mind? Do you think of rules and tasks that must be accomplished?

I have been thinking about holiness the last few days after running across an article that talked about different ways to understand holiness: as correctness or a state of the heart.

At first glance, it is very easy to think of holiness as correctness. In 1 Peter 1:16, God calls us to:

 Be holy, because I am holy.

God is correct. God knows all and makes perfect decisions. God is right. This is particularly evident to me in the Old Testament. God tells people what is right and what people should do and there is consequences for not doing those things.

But when I look at the writings of the New Testament, I am drawn to see holiness as a state of the heart that is without obstacles to loving God and others. When God gets up close and personal with us though Jesus, we hear that Jesus knows the heart of God and he and God are of one heart and of one will.Nothing separates Jesus from God.

We also find scripture like Hebrews 12:14:

Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will see God.

 Holiness appears to be related to living in peace with others and it is something to be pursued. I have always seen Philippians 4:8 as a explanation of holiness:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

As I ponder these scriptures, and think about holiness, I see a fundamental difference in correctness and a state of the heart. Correctness involves being correct. It is something you are or are not. A state of heart involves doing. I do things that create a pattern of behavior that indicates a certain state of heart.

So for me, the question comes down to is holiness something that you are or something that you practice. The way you answer that question certainly changes the way you approach life and other people.

But here is the thing, each of us makes mistakes, we can not be "correct". We are left falling short. Our path to holiness as a state of being is through the sacrifice of Jesus. Jesus paid the blood price so that we can trade the ashes of our mistakes for the beauty of his perfection. The way for us to accept and receive that gift is through our belief and love. We believe that gift is offered, receive it, and our response is love. Our love drives us to pursue the desires of God and create a state of heart that is free of obstacles that prevent us from loving God or others.

So if we attempt to be correct, we fail, we make mistakes. But we can pursue a heart where there are no obstacles preventing us from loving God and others.

Are you trying to be correct at all times and making sure those around you are correct? Do you walk away from situations or people who do not fit your understanding of what is correct? Or are you trying to love God and others with every fiber of your being? Do you run towards people and situations and bring love to them, to show them God?

Luke 15:1-3: Are you a Prodigal?

Have you read the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke chapter 11? Do you relate to one of the characters in that story? It happens to be the topic of the study my small group is doing called Prodigal God written by Tim Keller. This week, we focused on the audience who was listening to Jesus when he told this story and how those people (and we) fit into the story:

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
Then Jesus told them this parable: (Luke 15:1-3)

As we examined the characters in the story and how they were like the groups of listeners, we came up with the younger brothers or tax collectors and sinners and the older brothers or Pharisees. The tax collectors and sinners were on paths of "do what you want" but were now returning to God because they were lost. The Pharisees were standing on the moral high ground and were so focused on doing what was right that they failed to have relationship and were also lost. The problem for this group is that they were too proud to recognize and admit they were lost.

Of course that leaves one more character, the father, who is extravagant in his love to both his sons, just as God is with us. To the younger son, he gives him the inheritance that he asks for and then when the younger son returns having squandered that inheritance and recognizing that he is no longer worthy of sonship, the father gives him a robe and a ring, signifying that he has put him right back to his place of being a son in his household. Not only does he restore him to his place in the family, but he greets him by foregoing dignity and running out to him, not waiting for the younger son to approach him and apologize. For the older son, the father leaves his party and begs the older son to come in and join the festivities. He humbles himself and begs his own son just to celebrate. To both, the father lavishes an extravagant love.

This weeks discussion focused on the need to focus on relationship. In that relationship, we will find an understanding of what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to love. We will not become lost.

I have had these ideas and thoughts rolling around in my head this week and thinking about how that plays out today, for me, and in the lives of others around me. I have also had my Google News notifications filling my inbox with news stories about Exodus International, which is an ex-gay ministry. Let me share a quote from one of the articles on CNN:

"From a Judeo-Christian perspective, gay, straight or otherwise, we're all prodigal sons and daughters," Chambers said. "Exodus International is the prodigal's older brother, trying to impose its will on God's promises, and make judgments on who's worthy of His Kingdom.
"God is calling us to be the Father -- to welcome everyone, to love unhindered."

The organization is shutting down and reforming under a new name, Reduce Fear, with a new mission:

"This is a new season of ministry, to a new generation," Chambers said. "Our goals are to reduce fear, and come alongside churches to become safe, welcoming and mutually transforming communities."

 I want to give credit to this organization for recognizing that they were lost and needed to take a different path. For seeing that the mission of Exodus International made them like the older brother and also congratulate them on the new mission, which is one worthy of the father. I pray my blessings on their faithfulness to this new mission and that they could impact churches to make them safe, welcoming and transforming communities.

Back to my small group, one of the parting ideas we discussed was a health check on how churches were at embracing the marginalized and what they needed to do to improve in this area. It seems that Reduce Fear is on a path to help churches to do this.

Each of us can probably relate to the younger or older son in the story of the Prodigal Son, and possibly both at different seasons in our lives; more focused on "doing it right" or on our "own desires" and neglecting relationship. But it is only in relationship that we have opportunities to spend extravagant love, love that the world would see as wasteful, but we know to be the essence of life.

Let us find ways to be a prodigal, like the father in the story, giving away love extravagantly, spreading it everywhere we go with abandon.

Hebrews 12:1 - Community Connectedness

As I lay in bed this morning, I started thinking about the interconnectedness of people and how throughout the ages, writers have drawn people together by making connections and inspiring their readers with things done by people of the past. Writer's draw these two groups of people who share something in common, but are separated by time and space into a community. When you look at it up close, the people may find themselves to be very different, but on some level, they are connected and therefore part of a community.

I couldn't help but think of all the times in the Bible where the writers remind the readers of those that have gone before, to make sure their accomplishments and mistakes are remembered and held up to help the reader navigate their own life path. One of my favorites is Hebrews Chapter 12, verse 1.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

The proceeding chapter goes through a list of people of faith and what they accomplished by their faith; the trials they endured and overcame because of their faith; the fact that through faith they looked at a goal that was beyond their lifetime and acted toward it.

Then comes verse one of chapter 12 and it draws us into community with these people and calls us to be inspired by their accomplishments and do likewise. In community with these people, we should see the end goal and live a life towards that outcome. To trade the future and long term goodness and harmony for the world at large for the instant pleasures of today for ourselves.

This is not an easy task, but a worthwhile one. One I try to choose each day. Yes, it is a daily choice to do this. Each and every day opportunities come up for us to choose a path that is easy or would bring instant pleasure that would direct us away from a future of goodness, love, and peace for the world.

Since June is Gay Pride month, I couldn't help but start thinking about the connectedness that I feel to the LGBTQ community and realize that it is very similar in nature.

If I look around at the people I interact with on a daily basis, they are mostly straight. I don't find myself spending a great deal of time in "gay" establishments, although I certainly have a proclivity to places and people that are gay-friendly (after all, who likes to spend there time in and around hostile places and people). What I do find is a strong tie of connection for me with the LGBTQ community. I desire for this community to feel at one with all of society and particular desire to build bridges between the LGBTQ and Christian communities (which is why I created Gay Christian Bridges). While I don't intersect with that community on a daily basis, I do find myself drawn to those "family events" that bring that community together. Last Sunday I walked in the AIDS walk. Personally I don't have, nor do I have friends that have AIDS, but it is something that has had great impact of the LGBTQ community and I want to do my part to support my community. Today, I will attend the Pride service at Arlington Street Church followed by the Pride parade in Boston. It is not a community I hang out with frequently, but I feel the connection to the community and am inspired by people in it.

Just as the writer of Hebrews held up people who acted on faith towards an end goal of love, goodness, and peace, the LGBTQ community has people who have striven for an end goal of love, goodness, and peace.

I respect the members of my community that have gone before me and have stood up for the right to love the person of their choice, even if when those around them have not understood that love (just as Noah chose to build an ark when those around him did not understand what it was). I respect those who have chosen and stood up for being honest about who they were as a person, rather than hide in society and be what society wanted (just as Moses refused to deny his Jewish heritage even though he had been adopted into the house of the Pharaoh). These people saw a future where there was love, peace, goodness...and lived a life to bring it about, even though it was not in their lifetime.

Do you see a future? Are you willing to live a life to bring it about, even if that requires hardship or persevering through persecution? Will you be an agent that brings the world of love that God has painted for us?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

John 15:1,2 - Pruning: Painful Process to Perfection

Last night, at our small group, we were reading John chapter 15, which opens with this set of verses (1 &2),

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful."

The key to understanding this fully is in understanding how growing fruit works from a gardening sense. At the time, Jesus was talking to people who were familiar with agriculture and this illustration would have been meaningful to them.

Consider a fruit vine. There is the long vine that connects the roots to the branches.  When the person who cares for the vine inspects it, they are looking at the health of the branches. If a branch is dead or dying and bears no fruit, they remove it completely so that it is not draining the resources of the vine as a whole and taking away energy and food that the other branches could use to create fruit. Now if the branch is living, it is pruned back closer to the vine. This again reduces the energy needed to keep the branch alive so that all that energy can go into producing fruit. 

Now if you  consider that is a people sense. Jesus is the vine and we are the branches.  Jesus is saying that energy will not be wasted on those who do not bear fruit, but for those that do, they will be pruned so that they may bear more (sweeter and better) fruit. If you think about it, the process is not painless,  because pruning is involved for this to happen. As good as we are, and as good as the fruit is that we are producing in the world and people around us, we will be pruned. God is removing the parts of us that drain our resources and ability to bear good fruit: pride that holds us back from fully embracing another in love, anger that is used in the wrong way, stubbornness that prevents us from saying or doing what could turn a situation around. God is working to remove those from our character, and bring us closer to the person we were created to be.

As we were discussing this idea, I had to hijack my own lesson to share a video created by the Skit Guy called God's Chisel. This humorous and moving skit talks about the idea of God shaping us to improve us, but also reminds us that God does not create junk. We are worthy of God's time and effort to mold us into the persons we are created to be.
  
As you consider all of this, remember that being shaped and molded sometimes is painful, but the end result is better. Perhaps God is working on you in a way that feels painful and you wish you wouldn't have to suffer in the process. Think about the end result and how much better it will be. God promised that life with God would be better...not easy.

How is God pruning you today? Are you resisting or are you letting God take away the things that hold you back? 

P.S. I just couldn't resist the alliteration in the title...no apologies :-)
 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - When Love Shows Up

What is love? What do you think of when you hear that word? We often think of romantic love, or the love of parents and children and the easy, comfortable side of love.

What we usually don't think of is the love that stands by while their partner stresses out while trying to work on a wedding budget or the love that puts up with the crazy person that needs everything to look clean all the time...or to make this less personal, the love that hugs the child that is screaming, "You are so unfair! I hate you!"

The truth is that these moments truly define love. Let's look at one of my favorite scriptures that talks about love in 1 Corinthians.

 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This really talks about love in the hard situations...the ones that will define your relationship of love with a person.

So many times, we think of love in terms of the times it is easy, the times when it feels good, not those times when you are counting to 10...or 100...to avoid emotionally reacting to a situation and making it worse by getting angry.

I am so grateful for the love I receive...and I know I am not always the easiest to love because I am that guy who had a stress fest over a budget and I am that guy who needs everything clean before leaving the house and I am sure that I was that kid at one time or another who either with his words (or actions) said I hate you to his parents.


True love shows up when things aren't easy. That is the love God calls us to show to others and that is the love the world needs to become a better place for everyone.

Do you  love when the person needing it is difficult? Can you love when the word is hard and harsh? If we each rally around love, the world will be a better place.

John 9 & 10 - Who is Jesus?

Is this an easy question for you? Difficult? If asked this in your workplace or someplace where the climate towards faith is unknown, how would you answer? Would the answer be related to how Christians in general see Jesus or how you personally see Jesus?

These are all thoughts that came up in a discussion this week when my small group and I were studying John 9 & 10. In these chapters (and the proceeding ones), Jesus is moving between Jerusalem, where many of the Pharisees are trying to figure out a way to "take care of him" and other places that are more remote.

Let me share a few related scriptures, this first one, from chapter 9 is a conversation among the Pharisees and with the blind man Jesus had healed (on the Sabbath).

¹⁶ Some of the Pharisees said, “This man is not from God, for he does not keep the Sabbath.”
But others asked, “How can a sinner perform such signs?” So they were divided.
¹⁷ Then they turned again to the blind man, “What have you to say about him? It was your eyes he opened.”
The man replied, “He is a prophet.”

And a short while later, the former blind man's parents are brought in to the conversation.

²⁰ “We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind. ²¹ But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.” ²² His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue.

 And a little later Jesus and the formerly blind man meet again.

³⁵ Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”
³⁶ “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”
³⁷ Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”
³⁸ Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

Shortly after (in Chapter 10) Jesus says this about himself.

¹¹ “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  

And the people were divided in their thoughts.

¹⁹ The Jews who heard these words were again divided. ²⁰ Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?”
²¹ But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”

As we discussed the different people's responses and the environment that they were in, we couldn't help but remember other responses to Jesus from other places in the Bible from Peter's declaration that Jesus is the Christ to the many other times Pharisees declared him demon possessed.

Some declared him openly and boldly whether in a positive or negative light and some were less out there. I am reminded of Nicodemus, a Pharisees who visits Jesus at night. He believes, and often when I read about Pharisees who pose positive assertions to their fellow Pharisees, I think of Nicodemus. He was a supporter but still walked in the ranks of the Pharisees, retaining his place of influence, in spite of the climate.

So I ask this again, what declarations would you make about Jesus in an unknown environment? Is answering that question easy or difficult.

For me, there have been times when this topic has come up and I have declared my relationship with Jesus and told the story of when I tried to commit suicide and Jesus saved me through his declaration of love for me. I have encouraged others to have an encounter with Jesus and to "come and see" who he is.

At other times, doors have been opened for me and I have taken a more subtle approach, posing questions and pointing to people and events in the world to cause the other person to consider Jesus without making a personal and definitive declaration myself.

And still other times, I have failed to walk through the door and make a declaration out of fear of how it would be received or because in that moment, I personally wasn't feeling all that close to Jesus and didn't want to take the risk.

Some days the question is easy, and other days it is hard, but everyday it is important. How would you answer it today?

John 4:1-30 - The Loving, Empowering Encounter

Have you ever met someone who just gets you? One conversation with them and you feel instantly understood and being around them feels comforting and relaxing; it gives you life!

I can't help but wonder if that is what the Samaritan woman feels like when she encounters Jesus. The thing that initially touches her about the encounter is that Jesus acknowledges her. He asks her for a drink, even though she is a Samaritan. The Jews looked down on the Samaritans and she expected that Jesus, as a Jew, would do the same, but he did not, instead he started a conversation with her.

Throughout their conversation, Jesus shows that he knows her, and cares for her, and wants her to have the best that is available; life abundant and in relationship with God. Jesus does not judge her, but after making it clear that he knows her good and bad, he also makes it clear that he cares and points her towards truth. He acknowledges her, accepts her, and challenges her to be better. Could anyone ask for a better friend?

It can be hard for us to get our head around Jesus as that kind of friend if we have never met people who show us what that is like, and in truth, that kind of person can be rare. People often fit one or more of those, but it is the rare person who fills all three; partly because we don't let someone know us intimately enough. To earn trust takes time, and sometimes it is never fully earned by another. We have those secrets we withhold; we believe we know how the person will react, we feel their judgement before it is spoken.

I expect the Samaritan woman was waiting to hear Jesus' judgement after he outlined her situation in life,

¹⁶ He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
¹⁷ “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. ¹⁸ The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

 Yet Jesus did not react with judgement, he continued his conversation with her and revealed himself as Messiah to her. He offered her spiritual life!

I have been blessed with a couple of people in my life that have been and continue to be this kind of friend to me (aside from Jesus and family members). One is my friend PC who has always loved me, maybe not all my choices, but definitely me and has always spoken truth to me; not to condemn me, but to grow me. The other is my boyfriend, Thomas. In spite of my past mistakes and bad choices and my grouchiness, he acknowledges the less than perfect areas of who I am and focuses on the beauty in me. He encourages me to be better and to reminds me when I am about to do something that I will later regret. He always has a hug for me, no matter what.

It is because of people like this in my life that I can better understand and be in relationship with Jesus and understand the encounter the Samaritan woman has with Jesus. She finds that she is valued, she is loved, and the encounter empowers her.

Do you have a person in your life that helps you understand what Jesus is offering you?