Philippians 2 - Can You Be Too Nice?

Have you ever had someone tell you that you are too nice...like that is a bad thing? It's funny because I have heard that before but then when I take a stand on something or express how I feel (and it is negative) it causes problems.

Whenever I get to thinking about that (and trust me I can over think things with the best of them), this verse is one of the ones that comes to mind:

³ Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ⁴ Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

It is an interesting verse, because it can lead us in some different directions, both healthy and unhealthy. Let's take the phrase, ",,,thinking of others as better than yourselves." What does that really mean?  If others are better than you, do you always put them and their needs first...even to the detriment of your own. Doing that has certainly elicited comments of your too nice...you need to be upset and take care of you sometimes. So is giving others the priority a good thing or bad? Of course it you look at this closely, you will see that it starts with , be humble. It changes the idea from one of actions to one of attitude. An attitude of not elevating yourself above others and thinking that you are better than them, which can be a very different thing. This attitude doesn't require you to put others needs and desired above your own, just to understand that we all have tremendous value and that others need to be thought of and considered when you make decisions.

I think that is supported by the next idea which is to not only look out for your own interests but to take an interest in others too. Notice that it doesn't say to look out for others interests exclusively. In fact looking out for your own interests is mentioned first and as a thing you are to do.

So why does it seem like this verse lead to self-sacrificing martyrdom? Do we forget about that it is about an attitude and make it about action? Do we not see that we are to consider our own interests? I know I have certainly made those mistakes.

So maybe you can be too nice and in twisting this verse, we can see the unhealthy side and seem desperate for others approval (if we are always trying to make them priority) and ignoring our own interests to serve others. Not only that, but we end up being drained and unable to live a positive attitude and to love freely because we aren't getting our needs met.

Now this doesn't mean that you don't do for others, just that you understand that your interests and needs are also important and need to be met. Just remember that as you are noce to others, you need to be nice to yourself!