Have you ever been struggling so much that you can't find your faith? Have you ever been so low? Obviously David was. In this psalm as he expresses how far away he feels from God, he initially can only point to the good God has done to his ancestors. Then after some more lament, he can point to some very basic things God has done, such as to bring David safely into the world. David's depression still cannot let him see any thing good that God is doing at the moment...all he can see is the distance between God and himself. So David falls back on what he will do if God rescues him...praise him and make him known to future generations. Have you ever been this low?
There are times when life has us feeling so depressed that we can't see God or God's presence. We have a choice though, to just let that separation be or to grasp at glimmers. David has chosen to grasp at glimmers. First he recalls the good God has done for others. This reminds him that God does work in the lives of people. Then he reminds himself of some basic goodness that God has done in David's life and he is reminded that God has worked in his life.
Sometimes all we can do is to grab at glimmers. I have experienced those moments. One of the things I have used to see me through is my spiritual journal. When I can't get past my struggles to see what God has done in my life, I can return to my journal and see the ways God has blessed me and changed my life circumstances for good. My journal can provide me glimmers to grasp and to hold on to as I start coming back to a place where I recognize that God is fully present in my current circumstances and fully working in my life.
Do you keep a spiritual journal? If not, perhaps you should...someday it could be the source of glimmers of hope that help you trust in God's faithfulness and presence.
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