"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Psalm 42 - The Scripture Where I Am Not

1 As the deer longs for streams of water,
      so I long for you, O God.
 2 I thirst for God, the living God.
      When can I go and stand before him?

The irony of being at the this psalm this morning is either going to make me laugh or cry. I woke up this morning very aware that I have been moving farther from a constant focus to my relationship with God. My prayer this morning was one of mostly confession because I know I have let other things become more important than God and allowed my thoughts to be focused elsewhere. Oh, I know that I am traveling in the wrong direction and even in my prayers, I found myself becoming distracted and wandering. All I could do is to ask God for help and to hold on to me is my weakness and inability to hold onto God.

So then to open up this psalm and remember the days when my soul hungered for nothing but God...well, it is bitter sweet. While I know that is a good place and one I long to be, I don't long to give up the focus and attention to other things...ironic.

How can I (or we, if you have ever experienced this) know the joy of walking in that close intimate relationship with God and yet let other things stand in the way? There are just times when i need something physical...like a two arms holding me in a hug and someone telling me, I love you. God should be enough and God can certainly be in those arms and voice, but somehow pursuing that can sometimes just feel more important than God.

Please forgive me God for my wrong thinking. I know nothing is good without you or more important than you, but I am human and weak and need comfort ion this world!

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